Is it a sin to have #sex with your wife on her #period? – | #vagina #menstruation #biblestudy #Christianity #marriage #WorshipJesus

Helloo everyone,

I’m baaaaack 😛

It’s been really busy at hopelikerivers HQ but I am slightly less busy for now. This pause gave me some time to reflect upon the hard-hitting, unusual and taboo issues that I like to address on my blog regarding Christianity and women. Today we’re looking at the issue of married couples having sex whilst the wife is on her period. What does the Bible have to say about this? Well lets take a look!

 

Biblical Prohibitions

For most women periods take up three to five days each month for around four decades. That adds up and women and their husbands are almost guaranteed to want to have sex at some point during that time (Kubota 2020) but some passages of the Bible appear to prohibit this.

Under the Law of Moses, a woman was considered ceremonially unclean during her period. Sex during this time was forbidden.

(Leviticus 15:19 NLT) “[19] “Whenever a woman has her menstrual period, she will be ceremonially unclean for seven days. Anyone who touches her during that time will be unclean until evening.”

Not only were women ceremonially unclean during this time but also the men they had sex with and anyone who came in contact with her menstruation discharge.

(Leviticus 15:20-24 NLT) “[20] Anything on which the woman lies or sits during the time of her period will be unclean. [21] If any of you touch her bed, you must wash your clothes and bathe yourself in water, and you will remain unclean until evening. [22] If you touch any object she has sat on, you must wash your clothes and bathe yourself in water, and you will remain unclean until evening. [23] This includes her bed or any other object she has sat on; you will be unclean until evening if you touch it. [24] If a man has sexual intercourse with her and her blood touches him, her menstrual impurity will be transmitted to him. He will remain unclean for seven days, and any bed on which he lies will be unclean.” (Bible Study 2020)

Further on in Leviticus the Bible gives us more prohibition:

(Leviticus 20:18 NLT) “[18] “If a man has sexual relations with a woman during her menstrual period, both of them must be cut off from the community, for together they have exposed the source of her blood flow.”

It is important to understand the purpose of the Law of Moses concerning blood. In the sacrificial system, blood was sacred:

Leviticus 17:11 [NLT] “[11] for the life of the body is in its blood. I have given you the blood on the altar to purify you, making you right with the LORD. It is the blood, given in exchange for a life, that makes purification possible.”

A woman’s state of being ceremonially unclean during her period was symbolic of the value placed on blood. As a result, contact with a woman who was having her period was forbidden (Got Questions 2020). Furthermore, emphasis on cleanness and uncleanness was to weave the importance of holiness and “separation unto the Lord” into the everyday understanding of what it meant to serve the true and living God. The distinction between cleanness and uncleanness functioned as a continual reminder of the difference between God (holy) and God’s people (sinful and fallen) (Bohlin 2020).

As a result of the above mentioned verses, some take the view that a married couple should practice the Law of Moses and not have sex while the wife is having her period (Got Questions 2020) in an attempt to please God.

 

Challenges To Period Sex Prohibition

There are 3 problems with taking the view that practicing the Law of Moses will please God and absolve you of sin.

1.) Firstly, it makes the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross pointless as you are not living by “faith” as it says in Galatians 2:16-21 [NLT]:

“[16] Yet we know that a person is made right with God by faith in Jesus Christ, not by obeying the law. And we have believed in Christ Jesus, so that we might be made right with God because of our faith in Christ, not because we have obeyed the law. For no one will ever be made right with God by obeying the law.” [17] But suppose we seek to be made right with God through faith in Christ and then we are found guilty because we have abandoned the law. Would that mean Christ has led us into sin? Absolutely not! [18] Rather, I am a sinner if I rebuild the old system of law I already tore down. [19] For when I tried to keep the law, it condemned me. So I died to the law–I stopped trying to meet all its requirements–so that I might live for God. [20] My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. [21] I do not treat the grace of God as meaningless. For if keeping the law could make us right with God, then there was no need for Christ to die.”

2.) Secondly, as Paul said, if you start practicing the Law of Moses as a means of somehow making your life right in the eyes of God you have to obey all of them and if you don’t you are guilt of sin anyway. This is vocalised when the issue of circumcision came up in the New Testament:

(Galatians 5:3-5 NLT) “[3] I’ll say it again. If you are trying to find favor with God by being circumcised, you must obey every regulation in the whole law of Moses. [4] For if you are trying to make yourselves right with God by keeping the law, you have been cut off from Christ! You have fallen away from God’s grace. [5] But we who live by the Spirit eagerly wait to receive by faith the righteousness God has promised to us.”

This sentiment is reiterated in James 2:10-11 [NLT]:

“[10] For the person who keeps all of the laws except one is as guilty as a person who has broken all of God’s laws. [11] For the same God who said, “You must not commit adultery,” also said, “You must not murder.” So if you murder someone but do not commit adultery, you have still broken the law.”

So the moment you start observing one law, you have to observe them all. Those of us who know the Bible and have studied the Law of Moses know that it is simply not possible to practice the Law of Moses as a way to find favour with God because it is not practical. Buying all the animals for the sacrifices would bankrupt you for a start. MOST IMPORTANTLY, the Law of Moses is not a perfect means of atonement unlike the death and resurrection of the Lord King Jesus Christ.

3.) Lastly, along the lines of the practical challenges to practicing the Law of Moses on this particular issue. If the Leviticus instructions were applied consistently, even touching a woman on her period would be forbidden. As, mentioned above according to the Law of Moses you even cannot sit on the same seat as her, sleep in the same bed or even touch something that she has also touched (Leviticus 15:20-24) (Got Questions 2020). This is not practical to do today. Imagine what your daily commute would look like trying to avoid menstruating women? It’s not possible. You couldn’t even share pens at work lol.

Thanks to the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ Christians today do not need to practice the Law of Moses in order to be atoned to God (made right with God) as we see in the following verses:

Romans 10:4 [NLT] “[4] For Christ has already accomplished the purpose for which the law was given. As a result, all who believe in him are made right with God.”

Galatians 3:24-26 [NLT] “[24] Let me put it another way. The law was our guardian until Christ came; it protected us until we could be made right with God through faith. [25] And now that the way of faith has come, we no longer need the law as our guardian. [26] For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus.”

The prohibition does not apply today because the purpose of the Law of Moses has been fulfilled. There no longer is a sacrificial system of atonement to God like the Law of Moses that involves actions such as avoiding menstruating women. You should avoid menstrual blood because it’s unhygenic not because it will make you spiritually impure. Jesus’ blood sacrifice fulfilled the requirements of the Law of Moses for sins once and for all. Therefore, the Levitical ceremonial laws that partly make up the Law of Moses do not apply today (Got Questions 2020). The sentiment behind those laws DO APPLY but animal sacrifices and ceremonial actions such as avoiding menstruating women are no longer necessary for spiritual purity. Those laws were designed to protect and provide for the purity of the Jews until the Messiah came. Now, Christ has torn down the barrier between Jew and Gentile and the Law of Moses was a major part of that barrier—which is no longer necessary.

It should, however, be noted that moral laws, such as what we find in the Ten Commandments, will never pass away because they are rooted in the very character of God. (Bohlin 2020).

 

So Period Sex Isn’t Out Of Bounds Then?

As I have made clear the need to observe the practices of the Law of Moses is no longer there. This has been replaced by the need to live by faith since the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Does this mean we can ignore the laws from Old Testament? Romans 3:31 says:

“Do we then make void the law through faith? Certainly not! On the contrary, we establish the law.” (NKJV)

God did not give laws just to give a law. There were reasons for each law given. Since we do not know all of God’s reasons, we can only speculate here are 5 possible reasons:

1.) Sanitation – There was no readily available plumbing to the Jews in the desert when Moses first received the law in Exodus. This meant that it was a lot harder to bathe and clean up. We know that a woman’s monthly period is messy and has an unfortunate smell…

2.) Spread of disease – A woman’s monthly period consists of blood. We now know that several infections and diseases are carried and spread through blood (Panell, M. 2020). There are two types of infection that may occur due to sexual activity: STIs and problems caused by changes in normal vaginal flora, such as yeast infections and Bacterial Vaginosis (Medical News Today 2020).

STI’s are viruses that live in blood and they can spread through contact with infected menstrual blood (Healthline 2020). While yeast infections can also occur without engaging in sexual activity but people may have a higher risk of getting a yeast infection due to the hormonal changes during a period. Yeast infections, spread by Vaginal-penile sex, can cause the head of the penis to become inflamed which is a condition called Balanitis (Medical News Today 2020) and FYI, one of the treatments for recurrent Balanitis is a circumcision soo, yeahhh… Additionally, during a woman’s monthly period, the cervix widens to allow the uterine lining to leave the body. This widening of the cervix would increase the risk for pelvic infections and HIV (Panell, M. 2020).

For those weirdo’s who will actually attempt this – Tami Serene Rowen, Assistant Professor at UCSF’s department of Obstetrics, in the division of Gynaecology cautioned against Oral Sex during a woman’s period in Mens Journal, due to the health risks associated with the increase in bacteria and inflammation in the blood itself during a woman’s period. Please don’t do it people it doesn’t seem to be a good idea (Kubotu 2020).

Side note in the medical section – For the more dozy women, there’s the risk of forgetting the tampon. If you plan to have sex during your period and you’re wearing a tampon, you need to remove it beforehand. A forgotten tampon can get pushed so far up into your vagina during sex that you’ll need to see a doctor to have it removed (Healthline 2020).

Another side note – something people may not be aware of is that Sperm can live up to 5 days in the woman’s body after ejaculation (Medical News Today 2020) so just be aware having sex during woman’s monthly period is not a form of birth control. Women can and do ovulate during their monthly period, so can also become pregnant at this time (Panell, M. 2020).

3.) Delayed gratification – Bohlin (2020) suggests that the law of abstaining from sexual relations during a womans period could have been God instituting a “built-in anticipation builder” for both husband and wife for when they could come back together again. Bohlin feels that many married couples know the joy of “reunion sex” and to her, God’s “off-limits for seven days” rule, insured “reunion sex” without somebody having to go away! (Panell, M. 2020). You can debate among yourselves the validity of the claim. I think most men would just like to have sex everyday if they could tbh and the break wouldn’t make any difference to their sex drive but that’s just me.

4.) Demonstration of Grace – Since the New Testament teaches equal value of the sexes (Gal. 3:28, “In Christ there is no male or female”), it may be that the purpose of the gender inequity (the woman being ceremonially unclean during her period) of the Old Testament was to set up the contrast for the glory of grace in the New Testament.

5.) Maybe this was God giving women a breathing space written in law to make allowances for their periods which is a time when there are hormonal changes in a woman which we can’t help, that may make some not want anything to do with sex, while others have an increased desire for sex. It is the same way with pain. Some women do not have pain if they have sex during their monthly period while others may have an increase in pain. Apparently, some women have noted a decrease in cramps if they have sex during their monthly period (Panell, M. 2020).

 

Benefits to period sex

With there no longer being any biblical reasons why a married couple cannot have sex during the wife’s period (Got Questions 2020). Let’s have a look at this phenomenon with an open mind and see if there are any benefits to Period Sex. In order to write a properly balanced article I must note any advantages as well as disadvantages anyways. Here we go!

According to my research (which was in no was extensive) there seem to be some benefits to Period Sex. Disclaimer: not all the benefits have been scientifically proven. Please take this with a pinch of salt and don’t go crazy, you read the health risks I included above so be sensible. The possible benefits of period sex that I have found include:

  • Shorter periods due to uterine contractions during orgasm
  • Lighter, less painful periods
  • Reduced stress
  • Improved sleep
  • Headache relief
  • Strengthened immune system
  • Improved fitness (Medical News Today 2020)
  • Less need for lubrication When a woman is on her period there’s just that extra fluid in the genitals to make things spicier
  • More enjoyable sex due to libido changes (Flo Health 2020) – Fluctuating hormones and increased blood flow to the pelvic area may both play a role. (Estrogen and testosterone are low on day 1 of menstruation but they start to rise by day 3.) Woman’s sex drive tends to peak around ovulation—roughly 10 – 16 days before menstruation starts—but some women also report feeling extra desire during their periods (Health 2020).

 

7 tips for happy Period sex

So is there a way to conduct Period Sex that makes the whole thing less disgusting. Why yes! I’m being super open-minded and cool about the whole thing and have decided to include some tips I found for those interested:

  1. Be open and honest with your spouse. Tell them how you feel about having sex during period time and ask how they feel about it. If either of you is hesitant, talk about the reasons behind the discomfort.
  2. Women if you have a tampon in, FOR GOODNESS SAKE REMOVE IT BEFORE YOU START FOOLING AROUND.
  3. Spread a dark-coloured towel on the bed to catch any blood leaks as your period can cause a small crime scene on your sheets (Flo Health 2020). Or, have sex in the shower or bath to avoid the mess entirely – (I’m Dyspraxic (a bit uncoordinated) so sex in the shower is probably not a good idea for me, I guarantee you I would slip hah hah! You can try it if you want to though lol).
  4. Keep a wet wash cloth or wet wipes by the bed to clean up afterwards.
  5. Use latex condoms, good for family planning and protection against whatever stuff either half of the marriage has brewing in their nether regions lol.
  6. If your usual sexual position is uncomfortable, try something different. For example, you may want to try lying on your side with your spouse behind you or stay in the missionary position (as a Christian, with knowledge of what missionaries do I am confused as to why is it called that?..) (Healthline 2020)
  7. Wash your sheets afterwards. They’ll need it…

 

 

Conclusion

When it comes to sex during period time, some medical professionals do not recommend it as touching the blood of another person is unhygienic and usually women have no desire to have sexual relations during their period anyway, so that is definitely something to consider.

As far as the Bible goes, basically, this issue must be decided by a husband and wife in the spirit of “mutual consent” as 1 Corinthians 7:5-6 [NLT] describes:

“[5] Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. [6] I say this as a concession, not as a command.” (Got Questions 2020).

A husband and wife need to study the passages like the one above and seek God in the matter of having sex during the wife’s monthly period (Panell, M. 2020). Especially as Period sex could turn out to be messy and not everyone is comfortable dealing with bloody sheets or getting naked during what tends to be a bloated, crampy, unsexy time of the month (Health 2020). If either the husband or wife is uncomfortable with having sex at this time, this should be respected and the couple should refrain from having sex. Remember, sex is a way of demonstrating your love for each other. Therefore, a couple should only do those things that the husband and wife are both comfortable with (Panell, M. 2020).

 

Authors concluding thoughts

Although I have been super open-minded in writing this blog post, my personal conclusion as a Christian and a woman who is still in her menstruating years is thus: Blood coming out from the mysterious nether regions is particularly unsettling and to many men and women, a little gross (Kubotu 2020). Considering that sex already involves a wide range of fluids and excretions, including sweat, urine, sperm, and even faecal matter (Flo Health 2020), I don’t really think it would be very nice to add to that. Also, if you do a little research, you find that there are many sound medical reasons for abstaining from intercourse during the time of a woman’s menses (Bible Study 2020).

As the Bible does not give any specific prohibitions that are relevant today. I guess you don’t have to let periods put a halt to your sex life. If you do a little prep work, sex can be just as enjoyable during those period days as it is the rest of the month (Healthline 2020).

However, to be perfectly honest, the whole thing just sounds really unhygienic and I remain unconvinced lol. It’s good to know that no sin is attached to the activity but I just think it’s gross lol. When I’m on my period I feel icky, grumpy, emotional, my tummy hurts and my everything is sore. I would just prefer some chocolate, paracetamol, hugs and junk food over penis… Therefore, this issue goes in “The Things I Can Do But Wont” box. To quote St Paul:

1 Corinthians 10:23 [NLT] “[23] You say, “I am allowed to do anything”–but not everything is good for you. You say, “I am allowed to do anything”–but not everything is beneficial.”

Indeed…

xxx

 

 

Bibliography

Panell, M. 2020. Sex during her period <https://bible-christian.org/sex-during-her-period/&gt; June 17, 2020

Bible Study. 2020. What does Bible say
about intercourse during menses? <https://www.biblestudy.org/question/is-intercourse-a-sin-during-period.html&gt; 17 June 2020

Bohlin, S. 2020. Why were women unclean during their period in the Old Testament? Also, why were the number of unclean days different for the birth of a male child vs. a female child? Why doesn’t this apply today? <https://probe.org/why-were-women-unclean-during-their-period-in-the-old-testament/&gt; 17 June 2020

Flo Health. 2020. Can You Have Sex on Your Period? Pros and Cons of Period Sex <https://flo.health/menstrual-cycle/sex/sexual-health/sex-on-period&gt; 17 June 2020

Got Questions. 2020. Is it acceptable to God for a husband and wife to have sex while the wife is menstruating / having her period? <https://www.gotquestions.org/sex-period.html&gt; 17 June 2020

Health. 2020. 5 Reasons You Should Have Sex On Your Period <https://www.health.com/sex/health-benefits-period-sex&gt; 17 June 2020

Healthline. 2020 Is It Safe to Have Sex During Your Period? Tips, Benefits, and Side Effects <https://www.healthline.com/health/womens-health/sex-during-periods#side-effects>17 June 2020

Kubota, T. 2020. 8 Things Every Man Should Know About Sex and Her Period <https://www.mensjournal.com/health-fitness/8-things-every-man-should-know-about-sex-and-her-period-20151216/&gt; 17 June 17, 2020

Medical News Today. 2020. Is it safe to have sex during menstruation?<https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/321667#is-it-safe&gt; 17 June 2020

#Sexy #Sex and #Christian #Worship

Posted this on Wednesday by mistake instead of Thursday but it’s all good 😄

Hellooooooooooo!

Now you know me and my juxtaposition of sexual activity and expressive worship. Well in my travels in academia doing my PhD in Womanist Theomusicology I came across something quite insightful that has really changed the way I worship. The idea came from a response to an interview question found in an ethnographic study by Travis Cooper (2011) Masters Thesis from Missouri State University: “Ecstasy and the Kinesthetic Body: An Ethnograhpic Study of Contemporary Pentecostal Worship”.

When analysing the responses Cooper received from the qualitative questionnaires regarding the worship techniques and ideas of Pentecostal Christians, Cooper found that one Pastor said something that really struck me. He related worshipping Jesus to a husband and wife having sex. Now, stay with me….!

The Pastor warned that when worshipping Jesus we should not perusing a good knees up with some songs that make us feel good. Instead, the pastor said we should be pursuing a relationship with Jesus. The same way a husband should not be having sex with his wife just for his own sexual gratification he should be having sex with his wife because he loves her.

The pastor said the following:

“…the ultimate goal for sexual relations between a husband and wife is not simply pleasure or childbearing, but facilitation of love between the two agents in the physical act of intercourse, so it is with worship.” (Cooper 2011, pp.182)

I learnt soo much about worship and love in that one profound sentence. There’s just so much I could say but I really think that sentence says it all. We should be thinking about Jesus when we are worshipping not looking to pleasure ourselves with little ditty’s that make us feel good.

So here’s how my worship practice has changed: Instead of sitting there singing/playing songs that make me feel good I think of Jesus more of a lover that I am pursuing. So I think well this should be about Jesus, what does Jesus want? How can I make Jesus happy? What can I do to make us closer?

Sometimes I just play the guitar to Jesus now because I think well, maybe Jesus just wants to listen to some music same as we humans do! Also, I try to improve my professional practice because I feel like Jesus wants me to improve.

When we worship and love our spouses it should be about the other person and getting to know them better not about ourselves.

Remember, pleasure should be a consequence of the pursuit not the other way around!

A revised #theology on #sex through #song (I WROTE A NEW SONG)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

(I wrote a new song it’s at the bottom)

Sorry it’s late I was still doing work. I need to learn when to stop lol.

Anyway, remember the song I wrote based on Song of Songs called “I hope The Neighbors Don’t See? It was about marital sex in the garden. Follow this link to read my previous post on that song.

Anyway I wrote a Part Deux to that song, it’s a medley of another song I wrote called Right Here and a new part to I Hope The Neighbors Don’t See I affectionately call I Hope The Neighbors ALL See… heh heh 😏.

It’s still based on Song of Songs and mirrors follows the tripartite-metaphor in that the love poem represents love between:

1.) Women and Men

2.) King Solomon and a dark skinned woman and

3.) Jesus and the church.

However, this time I remembered the verse of scripture in the Bible that says:

Luke 8:16 NLT
“No one lights a lamp and then covers it with a bowl or hides it under a bed. A lamp is placed on a stand, where its light can be seen by all who enter the house.

So I thought yeah, hoping the neighbors don’t see you in the garden doing it with your spouse fits our Western sense of propriety, however, the lovers in Song of Songs are very public about their connection and hiding your love away doesn’t seem to be biblical, especially when it comes to your relationship with Jesus. (No I am not advocating public indecency, do have sex behind closed doors but do aspire to show your love for your fellow man, spouse and God publicly).

It also says in the Bible that we are not supposed to be ashamed of Jesus, if we are ashamed of Jesus and the message of the Gospel Jesus himself said He would be ashamed of us:

Luke 9:26 NLT
If anyone is ashamed of me and my message, the Son of Man* will be ashamed of that person when he returns in his glory and in the glory of the Father and the holy angels.

*a title Jesus gave to Himself.

But what does this talk about, marriage, sex and public displays of affection have to do with Jesus? There’s something you need to know about Jesus and our relationship with Him. Psalm 1:6 says:

Psalm 1:6 KJV
For the Lord knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish.

The Hebrew word used for “knoweth” is “yada” it’s also the Hebrew word for sex. In the Torah sex is not just something necessary for procreation but it’s about intimate knowledge of another individual it’s about knowing, recognizing and understanding each other (Gold 2020).

The word is used both in reference to a man and wife having sexual
intercourse and—get this—in reference to a person being in deep
fellowship with God (Gresh 2020).

Indeed Paul says that:

Ephesians 5:31-33 NLT
As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” [32] This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. [33] So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

The mystery of sexual and romantic relationships explains to us the depth of relationship we are supposed to have with Jesus.

Additionally, the church is described as the bride of Christ in Revelation. What do husbands and wives do? Yada yada… heh.

Properly understanding and appropriately practicing sex within the covenant of marriage is actually vitally important in understanding the Gospel and our relationship with Jesus. That’s why I’m so open about the topic.

So, we s supposed to be in an intimately deep relationship(sex metaphor) with Jesus (husband metaphor), in covenant(marriage metaphor) which would be the covenant of Salvation through the death and resurrection of Jesus and acceptance of that and Jesus does not like it when we are ashamed of Him .

So the same way you would show your love publicly to your spouse, have intimacy with your spouse and not be ashamed of the person you’re with its the same with Jesus.

Therefore, in light of the above I have come to the conclusion that, metaphorically, you would want the neighbors to see your relationship with Jesus publicly.

Therefore, I have written a new version as an add on to the original I Hope The Neighbors Don’t See to reflect this. In keeping with the husband and wife metaphor from Song of Songs, it’s actually about relationship with Jesus. It sounds raunchy but with a revised theology on sex it makes sense:

Ok here’s the Original:

HERE’S THE NEW SONG:

Xxxx

Bibliography

Gold, M. D. 2020. The Purpose and Meaning of Sex in Judaism
<https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/the-purpose-and-meaning-of-sex-in-judaism/&gt; 02 January 2020

Gresh, D. 2020. Yada yada. <https://liesyoungwomenbelieve.com/yada-yada-yada/&gt; 02 January 2020

[Video Essay] The Seven Kinds Of LOVE

Hello lovely subscribers and guests,

Welcome! For those of you in the know I said that I have decided to start reading my longer blog posts to you, as it’s more accessible for some people. To test this out I’ve decided to reblog this post about the different kinds of love. You can either watch me read this to you or you can read it below or you can listen and follow the text it’s up to you enjoy! Follow this link to see my other YouTube videos! Don’t forget to subscribe!

Essay

The ancient Greeks had various words to describe “love” and the various forms it comes in. Let’s have a look at the first one in no particular order:

1), Agápe (ἀγάπη)

Agápe (ἀγάπη) – love: esp. charity; the love of God for man and of man for a good God (Liddell and Scott 2010, p.4). Agape is used in ancient texts to denote feelings for one’s children and the feelings for a spouse. Also, used by Christians to express the unconditional love of God for his children (Romans 5:5; 5:8) (Wikipedia 2019, Greek words for love). In his book The Four Loves (1960), C. S. Lewis describes this as the love that exists regardless of changing circumstances and recognizes this selfless love as the greatest of the four loves and a specifically Christian virtue to achieve (Wikipedia 2019, The Four Loves).

Canadian psychologist John Alan Lee wrote a set of typologies about love (types of things) in his book Colours of Love: An Exploration of the Ways of Loving (1973) and these are Lee’s recognizable traits of a person exhibiting this kind of love:

  • Attracted to several types of people
  • Meets people easily so most likely will begin with a stranger
  • Feels concern and care for each partner they have
  • Is neither jealous nor obsessive
  • Enjoys sex and is willing to improve it (Sternberg 1988, p.48) (Wikipedia 2019, Color wheel theory of love).

2.) Éros (ἔρως)

Éros (ἔρως) – love, mostly of the sexual passion (Liddell and Scott 2019, ἔρως) The Modern Greek word “erotas” means “intimate love”. In the Symposium (360 B.C.), the most famous ancient work on the subject, Plato has Socrates argue that eros helps the soul recall knowledge of beauty, and understanding of spiritual truth, the ideal “Form” of youthful beauty that leads us humans to feel erotic desire, that is, finding its truth, just like finding any truth, leads to transcendence (Plato 1973) (360 B.C.) (Wikipedia 2019, Greek words for love). Lewis saw this love in the sense of “being in love” or “loving” someone, as opposed to raw sexuality (Lewis 1960, pp.108-109). Additionally, Lewis also warned against the modern tendency for Eros to become a god to people, a justification for selfishness and even a phallic religion (Lewis 1960 pp.127-132, 113). After exploring sexual activity he also notes how Eros (or being in love) is in itself an indifferent, neutral force (Lewis 1960, p.124) (Wikipedia 2019, The Four Loves).

Lee’s recognizable traits of a person exhibiting this kind of love:

  • Feels strong physical and emotional connection through the relationship
  • Begins with a partner who is a stranger and evokes immediate excitement
  • May be exclusive but not possessive
  • Seeks early sexual adventure, variety and technique
  • Is ready for love and its risks (Sternberg 1988, p.51) (Wikipedia 2019, Color wheel theory of love).

3.) Philia (φιλία philía)

Philia (φιλία philía) – affectionate regard, friendship, usually between equals (Liddell and Scott 2019, φιλία). It is a dispassionate virtuous love, a concept developed by Aristotle (Internet Encyclopaedia of Philosophy 2014). In his work on ethics, Nicomachean Ethics (350 B.C.), Philia is expressed variously as loyalty to friends, family and community and requires virtue, equality, and familiarity (Wikipedia 2019, Greek words for love). In the same fashion Lewis saw Philia as the friendship love also and a strong bond existing between people who share common values, interests or activities (Hooper 1996, p.654). Lewis differentiates friendship love from the other loves describing it as “…the least biological, organic, instinctive, gregarious and necessary…the least natural of loves” (Lewis 1960, p.70). He expresses a strong distaste for the way modern society ignores friendship and felt that few people in modern society could value at its worth, as so few actually experienced true friendship (Lewis 1960, pp.77, 84–85, 70) (Wikipedia 2019, The Four Loves).

Storge is also used to describe this kind of love and Lee uses it instead of Philia so does not provide recognizable traits of a person exhibiting this kind of love (Wikipedia 2019, Color wheel theory of love). See below for Lee’s recognizable traits for a person exhibiting Storge.

4.) Storge (στοργή)

Storge (στοργή storgē) – love, affection and especially of parents and children (Liddell and Scott 2019, στοργή). It is the common or natural empathy, like that felt by parents for offspring (Strong et al 2008, p.228). Rarely used in ancient works and even then almost exclusively as a descriptor of relationships within the family. It is also known to express putting up with situations, as in “loving” the tyrant. This is also used when referencing the love for one’s country or sports team (Wikipedia 2019, Greek words for love). Lewis has an interesting take on this kind of love, describing it as liking someone through the fondness of familiarity, for example, the natural love and affection of a parent for their child. Lewis describes this as the most natural, emotive and widely diffused of loves. Natural because it is present without coercion, emotive because it is the result of fondness due to familiarity and most widely diffused because it pays the least attention to those characteristics deemed worthy of love and as a result, able to transcend most discriminating factors (Wikipedia 2019, The Four Loves).

Lee’s recognizable traits of a person exhibiting this kind of love:

  • Is not looking for love but is ready if encountered
  • Quietly possessive but not overly jealous
  • Believes love comes from friendship but not a goal of life
  • Only has sexual desires after commitment is declared (Wikipedia 2019, Color wheel theory of love).

5.) Ludus

Ludus – “game” in Latin (hence the name of the game Ludo, remember that? Old Schooool! Totally showing my age!!! lol). Lee uses the term to describe those who see love as a desiring to want to have fun with each other, to do activities, tease, indulge and play harmless pranks on each other (like me lol). The acquisition of love and attention itself may be part of the game (Lee 1973, p.16) (Wikipedia 2019, Color wheel theory of love).

Lee’s recognizable traits of a person exhibiting this kind of love:

  • Ludic lovers want to have as much fun as possible.
  • When they are not seeking a stable relationship, they rarely or never become overly involved with one partner and often can have more than one partner at a time.
  • They don’t reveal their true thoughts and feelings to their partner, especially if they think they can gain some kind of advantage over their partner. The expectation may also be that the partner is also similarly minded.
  • If a relationship materializes it would be about having fun and indulging in activities together.
  • This love style carries the likelihood of infidelity.
  • In its most extreme form, Ludic love can become sexual addiction (Wikipedia 2019, Color wheel theory of love).

6.) Mania

Mania – from the Latin for “mental disorder”, from which we get the term “manic” or mainiac! Lee defines manic love as flowing out of a desire to hold one’s partner in high esteem and wanting to love and be loved in this way. This type of love leads a partner into a type of madness and obsession. It is a mix between Ludus and Eros.

Manic lovers speak of their partners in possessives and feel they “need” their partners. Love is a means of rescue or a reinforcement of value. Manic lovers value finding a partner through chance without prior knowledge of financial, educational, or personality dispositions.

Insufficient expression of the love of mania by one’s partner can cause one to perceive the partner as aloof, materialistic and detached. Lewis doesn’t go into this in the book, probably because Mania isn’t love at all.

Lee’s recognizable traits of a person exhibiting this kind of love:

  • Anxious about falling in love and has expectations of pain
  • Quickly becomes overwhelmed by thoughts of their partner
  • Forces partner into showing affection and emotion
  • Is easily frustrated and does not enjoy sexual intimacy
  • Is very possessive and jealous (Wikipedia 2019, Color wheel theory of love).

7.) Pragma

Pragma – from a Greek term meaning “businesslike”. Lee defines Pragma as the most practical type of love and not necessarily derived out of true romantic love, rather, Pragma is a convenient type of love.

Pragmatic lovers have a notion of being of service, which they perceive to be rational and realistic. This also translates to having expectations of a partner and of the relationship. They tend to select and reject partners based on what they perceive as desirable, compatible traits. Pragmatic lovers want to find value in their partners, and ultimately want to work with their partner to reach a common goal. The practicality and realism of pragmatic love often aides longevity of the relationship, as long as common goals and values remain shared for the duration.

In a culture where arranged marriage is practiced, pragmatic love is very common at the time of mate selection. Values are likely to be shared by a couple in developing countries, where survival and wealth building are often prioritized over other life pursuits.

Lee’s recognizable traits:

  • Certain of their preferable “types”
  • Begins a relationship with an already familiar person
  • Believes a loving relationship is desirable for a happy life
  • Expects reciprocation of feelings
  • Believes sexual compatibility can be worked out (Sternberg 1988, p.51).

Further Theories On Love By C. S. Lewis

C. S. Lewis distinguishes between three main kinds of love Need/Gift Love, Pleasure and Appreciation Love.

Need- Love and Gift- Love
Need-Love – as the love of a child for its mother. However, a child’s need for parental comfort is a necessity, not a selfish indulgence. Gift-Love – epitomized by God’s love for humanity to the disparagement of the former (Lewis 1960, pp.9-12).

Pleasure and Appreciation Love
Lewis distinguishes Need-Pleasures e.g. such as water for the thirsty from Pleasures of Appreciation, such as the love of nature (Lewis 1960, pp.20; 27) from the latter. He developed what he called “a third element in love … Appreciative love” (Lewis 1960, p.26) to go along with Need-love and Gift-love (Wikipedia 2019, The Four Loves).

In my mind I rationalise it like this – Need/Gift Love is “I need you”. Need-Pleasure Love is “I want you” and Pleasure/Appreciation Love is “I want you because I need you”.

My Thoughts On The Matter

I think I personally am a mixture of a couple of those loves, they show what I have said for ages. Love is an emotion that comes from being physically around someone. Real loves is bourne out of real life situations. Sometimes what you are feeling is not love at all it’s Maaaanniiiiaaa! Simple Ludus or Pure unadulterated Eros!

So back to my point that I keep on going on and on and on about…

You cannot fall in love with someone purely based on your interaction with them online. If you have not met them in person and do not have a real life physical rapport with them, it’s not love. You are in love with the idea of them, as without meeting them in real life, you cannot possibly know who or what they actually are. Your relationship is with your computer or smartphone via WhatsApp, Twitter, Facebook or even WordPress!

Do you find that when you see those little notifications from that person you have been stalking online ahem *cough* I mean that person you chat to online… that you begin to get a bit turned on? It’s not because you are truly in love with that person. You just enjoy the rush of interacting with them or stalking them online and you have conditioned your brain to receive pleasure from that kind of interaction, instead of interaction with a human face to face.

It’s not my place to judge why people do these things, I am just pointing out the flaws in such interaction. I’m just saying, God made humans as two naked people. Naked to show the intimacy and transparency that comes from real friendships.

Genesis 2:21-25 [NLT]
“So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the LORD God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. [22] Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. [23] “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.'” [24] This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. [25] Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.”

God didn’t make Adam and a computer screen with Eve sitting in some other part of the Garden of Eden. Humans are supposed to be relational and together, face to face, more often than not. Online interaction is not a substitute for real life relationships.

Follow this link to read my previous blog post on this issue, it’s important > Can you fall in #love with someone #online? #onlinedating #communication #internet #relationships

X x x (do not misinterpret that as a kiss…)

Bibliography

Books

Hooper, W. 1996. C. S. Lewis: A Companion & Guide. United Kingdom: Harper Collins Pub Ltd

Lee, J. A. 1973. Colours of Love: An Exploration of the Ways of Loving. Toronto: New Press.

Lewis, C. S. 1960. The Four Loves. London: Geoffrey Bles

Liddell, H. G. and R. Scott. 2010. An Intermediate Greek-English Lexicon: Founded Upon The Seventh Edition Of Liddell And Scott’s Greek-English Lexicon. United Kingdom: Benediction Classics.

Plato. 1973. The Symposium. W. Hamilton Trans. 1973. Repr. Harmondsworth: Penguin.

Sternberg, R. J. 1988. Triangulating Love. In The Psychology Of Love, R. J. Sternberg & M. Barnes eds, pp.119–138. New Haven, CT: Yale University Press.

Strong B, W., L. Yarber, B. W. Sayad and C. Devault. 2008. Human sexuality: diversity in contemporary America. 6th edn. New York: McGraw-Hill.

Websites

Aristotle. 350 B.C. ‘Nicomachean Ethics. Trans W. D. Ross’ The Internet Classics Archive Web site, at: <http://classics.mit.edu/Aristotle/nicomachaen.8.viii.html&gt; 02 May 2019

Internet Encyclopaedia Of Philosophy. 2014. ‘b. Philia’ Internet Encyclopaedia of Philosophy Web site, at: <https://www.iep.utm.edu/love/#SH1b&gt; 24 August 2014.

Liddell, H. G. and R. Scott. 2019. ‘ἔρως’ Perseus Web site, at: <http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=Perseus%3Atext%3A1999.04.0057%3Aentry%3De)%2Frws> 02 May 2019

Liddell H. G. and R. Scott. 2019. ‘στοργή’ Perseus Web site, at: <http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=Perseus%3Atext%3A1999.04.0057%3Aentry%3Dfili%2Fa&gt; 02 May 2019

Liddell H. G. and R. Scott. 2019. ‘φιλία’ Perseus Web site, at: <http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=Perseus%3Atext%3A1999.04.0057%3Aentry%3Dfili%2Fa&gt; 02 May 2019

Plato. 360 B.C. ‘Symposium. Trans. B. Jowett.’, The Internet Classics Archive Web site, at: <http://classics.mit.edu/Plato/symposium.html&gt; 02 May 2019

Wikipedia. 2019. ‘Color wheel theory of love’, Wikipedia Web site, at: <https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Color_wheel_theory_of_love&gt; 01 May 2019

Wikipedia. 2019. ‘Greek word for love’, Wikipedia Web site, at: <https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_words_for_love&gt; 1 May 2019

Wikipedia. 2019. ‘The Four Loves’ Wikipedia Web site, at: <https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Four_Loves&gt; 01 May 2019

HALT! – What Happened When I Was Hungry, Angry, Lonely & Tired! – #sex #music #Christian #Biblestudy

Dear all,

Have you heard of the acronym “HALT” stands for Hungry Angry Lonely Tired? It has consequences on your mind if you are in a place where you are all those things, leaving you vulnerable to relapse into a negative state and initiate a craving reaction… Being in a HALT state also shows that you are not taking care of yourself like you should. Here’s how it affected me the past two weeks.

What happened

Sometimes we can be called to do things but we allow the calling to become bigger than the One who called us. As I said, I’ve been overwhelmed with doing stuff, which made me Angry. This stuff was stuff which I should be doing and is important and vital to the continuation of the ministry at my church. However, I’ve been trying so hard that I even wasn’t reading my Bible as much as I should which made me spiritually Hungry and I felt Jesus was becoming jealous of the calling in that I was giving it more time that I was giving Him. So I finally finished what I had to do which was important and time sensitive and then I crashed in an emotionally/physically exhausted way (one night I even stayed up till after 8am doing stuff) because I was very Tired, on day I took off. That is when Jesus revealed the following to me whilst I was talking to Him please continue to read the following which happened last week:

I was sitting having a lovely day off and laying down having a conversation with Jesus on my bed and I noticed a few things different about that day. Firstly, the visions that Jesus shows me regularly came back. Jesus shows me visions and lots of other things regularly but since I was so busy I noticed they stopped, which made me a bit Lonely I thought maybe Jesus wasn’t showing me them because I was moving onto something else, no, I just was soo busy that what I was doing was competing for mental space with Jesus and Jesus was just not willing to compete but when I took a day off and Jesus was no longer in competition I noticed they came back.

Secondly, Jesus opened my eyes to the fact that I had been having nosebleeds for 2 weeks straight, culminating in a rather large one on the day I rested. I noticed it but I didn’t put two and two together to see the correlation between how much stress I was taking on and the nosebleeds. I had been internalizing so much stress and it was coming out as nosebleeds, I didn’t notice till I took a day off that I was not allowing Jesus to take my burdens and it was beginning to damage my health. How much stress does a person have to be under to have nosebleeds every day? Answer, a lot and to be so stressed that you don’t even realise it’s making you ill is dangerous. So again, by letting the calling become bigger than Jesus and taking on things all by myself I was damaging my health.

Anyway, revelations aside I felt like had quite a nice conversation with Jesus. I was feeling really quite tired by the end of the conversation as I had done stupid things like stayed up all night till past 8am in the morning working, so pulling proper all nighters and I was knackered by my day off.

So… I decided I would actually get into bed and lay down. I went to sleep, had a very strange dream and then woke up.

When I woke up, being in a HALT state had initiated a craving reaction and for the life of me I could not stop thinking about sex… I had very naughty thoughts (which I will not expand upon) solidly for a good hour or two about having sex in the control room of a music studio… I’m not even kidding, there was absolutely nothing else in my mind and it was as lucid as if I was there… (I’m definitely going to hide this blog post from my mother) I’m a musician. We are more prone to finding things like that sexy… Don’t judge meeeeeeeee!

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I couldn’t believe that I had actually thought such dirtiness just after having quite a nice, jovial conversation with Jesus before my nap.

And then I thought to myself:

“You know what? I’m not as good of a person as I thought I was”

and I shook my head at myself as I admitted my 29 year old humanity…

Normally, I avoid highly sexualised thoughts because firstly it’s a distraction and secondly it’s not good to focus on something that isn’t real. Lastly, there are Biblical reasons that revolve around how we are to conduct our thoughts and the Biblical mandate to not have sex before marriage (see my previous blog post about this)

  • I am not married so I need to rein it in for holiness reasons (and also for my own sanity…)
  • Jesus said that even if you think about doing a sin it’s just as bad as doing the sin. Sins can be committed both in our minds and by our actions. God tells us that we can sin in our minds just by lusting after someone. A person can sin by giving in to an inner emotion or passion and then dwelling on that emotion or passion like it says in Matthew 5:27-28:

(Matthew 5:27-28 NLT) “[27] “You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ [28] But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

  • Temptations are not from God but from Satan to drag us down and get us to do the bad things we are tempted to do and we should not meditate on our temptations. Sin does not occur when the emotion, thought, or passion first comes. However, if those thoughts are not resisted, then sin occurs when we give in to the emotion, thought or passion by dwelling on it (Never Thirsty 2019) like it says in James 1:12-15:

(James 1:12-15 NLT) “[12] God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. [13] And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. [14] Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. [15] These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.”

  • Additionally, what we think can make us dirty from the inside out as vocalised in Matthew 15:18-20

(Matthew 15:18-20 NLT) “[18] But the words you speak come from the heart–that’s what defiles you. [19] For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander. [20] These are what defile you. Eating with unwashed hands will never defile you.””

  • A person sins by dwelling on something that God has told us to avoid. When we sin on the outside we demonstrate to God, to others, and to ourselves that we have already sinned on the inside. God has asked us to resist the temptation to sin by fleeing from it. We are not supposed to see how close we can come without sinning. Fleeing starts with avoiding thoughts about the sin as it says in Romans 16:19:

(Romans 16:19 NLT) “[19] But everyone knows that you are obedient to the Lord. This makes me very happy. I want you to be wise in doing right and to stay innocent of any wrong.”

We read in 2 Timothy 2:22 to also run away from anything that would stimulates “youthful lusts”.

(2 Timothy 2:22 NLT) “[22] Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.”

So we really shouldn’t be dwelling on nonsense that will stimulate us in a way that is not holy. Instead we should be focussing on living descent holy lives.

So it got me thinking, how did this happen? It happened because I was spiritually and probably physically hungry. I was angry, lonely in a spiritual and physical sense and I was spiritually and physically tired… This then kick-started an instinctive craving mode to try fill the gap normally occupied by Jesus who nourishes me, keeps me calm, gives me company and renews my strength because I was previously too busy to engage with Jesus.

So how do we deal with cravings/bad thoughts that come with being in a HALT state?

Read your Bible Daily – to avoid being spiritually Hungry

I admit it, I was not reading my Bible as much as I should, I can’t believe 2 weeks of not paying at much attention to Jesus as I should as well as skipping a few days of Bible reading and my mind went south, literally… lol. My mind was stressed and did not have it’s daily meal of the Word all the time and the word calms me down. So what did my mind then gravitate towards, something that would naturally calm a person down and give some sort of… umm… release? lol. Sex 🙂 you need to read your Bible every day. I read it morning and night. Read it more than you have to the Bible says we are supposed to meditate on the Word all the time. The Word is also food for our souls. My soul was half starved and hungry, no wonder I was thinking crazy things.

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Change your focus – to avoid being Angry

Stop making your primary focus on things to do with Jesus or your ministry or everything and start making your focus actually Jesus Christ. Stop focussing primarily on your problems and the people making your problems worse as this made me Angry and look for constructive solutions and make sure you always give Christ supremacy in your thoughts.

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Commit our thoughts to prayer – to avoid being Lonely

We commit them to prayer, my problem was that I was not talking to or thinking about Jesus as much as I should because I was so busy doing the things Jesus asked me to do. This made me Lonely. I then crashed (emotionally) it was only then that I noticed the vacuum in my brain where thoughts about and for Jesus would normally have inhabited. The vacuum was filled with sex, thoughts of sex anyway lol… I needed to pray more to inject my humanity with holiness.

(1 Thessalonians 5:17 NLT) “[17] Never stop praying.”

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Don’t overwork – to avoid being Tired

(Psalm 127:2 NLT) “[2] It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones.”

Does what it says on the tin really.

Conclusion

I was Hungry (spiritually starved), Angry (due to the people around me making my task more difficult), Lonely (from lack of interaction with Jesus) and Tired (from over working, I actually ended up in A&E for fatigue related accident, related to how tired I was from doing what I was doing). Apparently, when you are these things as a man you shouldn’t go on the internet…. Seems as though that works for women to! I didn’t go on the internet btw but my mind just went south lol.

On a separate note, I wrote a blog post about issues men have here: 3 Ways The Devil Tempts Men

  • Hungry – Eat your spiritual food which is reading the Bible
  • Angry – Change your focus to things for and of Jesus
  • Lonely – pray and talk to Jesus
  • Tired – Don’t overwork and give Jesus and your family the time they deserve

If it took two weeks of distraction, overwork, then me crashing, for my mind to be in the gutter goodness knows what other people who don’t read their Bible regularly or talk to Jesus regularly all year must be struggling with.

Here’s some resources:

https://healthypsych.com/h-a-l-t-hungry-angry-lonely-and-tired-a-self-care-tool/

https://bustedhalo.com/features/what-works-10-halt-hungry-angry-lonely-tired

https://bradfordhealth.com/halt-hunger-anger-loneliness-tiredness/

Catherine xxx

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Bibliography

Never Thirsty, ‘When does thinking about a sin become a sin’ Never Thirsty Web site, at: <https://www.neverthirsty.org/bible-qa/qa-archives/question/when-does-thinking-about-a-sin-become-a-sin/&gt; 9 September 2019

SPECIAL EDITION: I Had A Vision Of #Heaven!!!!!!!!!! | #Jesus #Christian

I HAD A VISION YESTERDAY!

I was taken up to heaven and then taken into courtroom in heaven. God the Father was the judge. It was ornate like the Crown Court where the highest seat was reserved for the judge, which was God and there were places for Clerks and there were seats for the Defendant and Prosecution.

In this courtroom I had this sense that I was free but I saw where the Defendant would sit and I saw a young adult male, around my age (I’m 29 so around his early 30’s), sitting with his lawyer. He was in trouble and the court case that was happening in heaven was regarding him and he was talking with his lawyer.

The Defendant, so the person who was being accused, was wearing a dark grey almost black suit, he looked quite nice in it actually, I think he had a black skinny tie on and he was kind of tall. God also showed me that this guy told people he was a Christian. His lawyer was in a similar colour suit but was a bit shorter than the defendant and middle aged and was dressed smarter.

The lawyer was preparing all of the documents to make sure that the Defendant had every chance of a good defence, the lawyers body language suggested that this was crunch time and if this case didn’t win it was going to be hell for the young man.

I was in the audience part on the side of the Defendant, I was free to go where I wanted to but the Defendant had to stay put. Court had not started yet and everyone was not there but for some reason the Defendant had to turn up early with his lawyer. The movements of the Defendant because he was the Defendant were dictated to him because he was accused, so unlike me, he had to go where other people told him to go when they told him to go there.

As I said the court hadn’t started yet, people were moving around, the Defendant was there and only me in the audience, then for some reason the Defendant turned around looked me in the eyes and smiled. I got the feeling like he knew I was going to turn up, he knew I had his back and he knew I cared, which is why he turned around because he was expecting me.

Then something strange happened. I suddenly saw a vision within a vision. In this vision I saw the courtroom floor. Someone had dropped a USED CONDOM on the courtroom floor.

Now this signified several things:

  1. Contempt for God’s law
  2. Contempt for the institution of marriage because the person who did this NEEDED to used a condom because the person they were sleeping with they were not married to
  3. Contempt for the woman who had been slept with
  4. Contempt for sexual intimacy, this signified that sex didn’t mean much to the person who did this
  5. The person who used the condom had had sex in an inappropriate place that’s why the condom ended up somewhere it shouldn’t have.

When I was at university when you would walk to university there would be used condoms on the ground because people, who had no regard for themselves and didn’t fear God used to have sex in the alleyways then dump the used condoms. God was showing me that that’s what that situation meant.

The used condom was also evidence. IT WAS EVIDENCE AGAINST THE DEFENDANT!!!!! That was the reason why he was there. He had been sleeping with his girlfriend and God had finally had enough and the Devil was able to come before God and accuse the young man and the young man was now really in trouble. I am guessing the lawyer was either an angel or the Angel of the Lord as in Jesus.

The scary thing about this whole thing was that God revealed to me that this heavenly court case has not happened yet. I WAS ACTUALLY SEEING THE FUTURE!!!

There is somebody out there, around my age, male (obviously) sleeping with your girlfriend and God is about to run out of patience with you.

Please stop, God can see what you are doing. The Devil is laughing every time you sleep with your girlfriend because IT knows that you are digging yourself into a hole. And the Devil cannot wait to meet you in the afterlife. God sends people like me to intercede for you but I cannot pray you out of hell if you’re already there.

Stop it, stop it right now, ask forgiveness of your sins, find some bible believing guys who you can be accountable with, get prayer, discipleship, deliverance whatever you need to do to get right with God but please just stop sleeping with your girlfriend. Sex is for marriage only.

Your actions are irritating God and one day you will not be free.

Catherine

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Feeling better! 🙂

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I Wrote A Song About #Sex for my #PhD | #phdlife #freelance #musician #soundcloud #music #feminism |

Hello Everyone!

So as we know I’m doing a PhD in Music, in the area of Theomusicology & Feminist Musicology and some other things, with a practical element to it. So one of the things I’m looking at is how women and sex is represented in music as my project is interested in sexual politics (in a metaphorical sense) but in a literal sense sexual politics is also about sex. In response to my findings I’m going to produce some songs on the topic. The practical portfolio will have songs on various topics relating to women and music and theology. It will make sense when you read my thesis. Here’s a paraphrased summary of what I’ve learned, the full academic essay will come later.

I chose the topic of marital sex as a context for my section on women, music and sex. My intended outcomes for this song are to present women/wives as strong, mutual/equal with men/husbands, sensual/emotional beings that enjoy sex and have their own opinions and sex drives and sexual desires that are just as important as the man’s within the context of marital sex. Furthermore, as I am a woman of colour, I am writing from the perspective of a woman of colour and I hope that my piece along with the values therein, will address the negative stereotypes about women of colour that perpetuate within Western contemporary songs about sex. In Western popular songs about sex, women of colour are usually represented in the most abased and course way. Furthermore, songwriters have an irritating habit if sexualizing the ways in which women of colour are often discriminated against, race, gender and class, by presenting them as the hot abused poor baby mamas *rolls eyes*, or one night stands, never anything good etc. Instead I, have written and performed a song, from the perspective of a woman of colour about being in a sexual relationship within the socio-economic status and security of being a wife, the lyrics talk about saying “I do” and rings etc. (you don’t have to be some guys baby mama, why are we always shown as the baby mama and not the wife?) and not a victim in sexual activity but a willing, consensual, active and committed participant. (N.B. I am not and have never been married this is just in the fictional narrative of the song).

As mentioned earlier, this song is about the joys of marital sex, as experienced by two fictional newly-weds. It follows the metaphor, imagery and form of ‘Song of Songs’ which is also called Song of Solomon, my favourite book of the Bible, (talking about gardens, fragrant spices, greenery, little foxes, having sex outside, it’s all in Song of Songs lol). Song of Songs is actually about the love between a dark skinned woman and King Solomon.

Song of Solomon 1:5 [NLT]
I am dark but beautiful, O women of Jerusalem- dark as the tents of Kedar, dark as the curtains of Solomon’s tents.

It also represents a counter-cultural approach to romantic relationships between men and women, as it is in fact the woman who pursues the man. I tried to reflect this in arranging it for a female singer and making the tone of the lyrics, that of someone who is a pursuer and initiator of physical intimacy. I also show the woman as initiator as well as mutual consenting participant, instead of a passive participant or victim. The lead vocal (the woman/bride) vocalises decisions about her own sexual desires and needs. You can find the woman in Song of Songs doing the same thing. The theomusicology comes in the narrative of the lyrics which implies that now they’re married they can have sex when and wherever they want to lol (within reason), which is a Christian theological standpoint (I’m a Christian btw). So it implies restraint and commitment before coitus, not after.

I also decided to make it walking pace because I found that most songs about sex and women, especially sex with or about or by women of colour, have quite a strong beat and lyrically emphasise the fun of sex with chauvinistic, misogynoir lyrics that often contextualise the woman and the act within the erotic, encouraging male brains to switch to autopilot, focussing entirely on the physicality and pleasure of sex, not the love. My piece is a response to these negative things I found. It is slow(ish) to be meditative, slow down the heart rate and give the listener space to clear their minds and think. The listener should not get carried away by eroticism but instead wrapped up in the sweetness, sensuality, thoughtfulness and intentional nature of the act of marital sex. Looking forward to adding this to the the final portfolio! So this is a sonic, feminist, womanist critique of pop music about women and sex, using the lived experience of a woman of colour as an analytical tool for reflection. I am trying to promote the knowledge of women by uncovering the lost narratives of our experience, like a Foucauldian genealogy.

Well done for reading, here’s the track! It’s called “I Hope The Neighbours Don’t See”

You can also listen on SoundCloud. Follow this link to play or play the embedded player below:

I have a playlist on YouTube. Follow this link to play or play in the embedded player below:

The Middle 8/Bridge is inspired by a conversation I had with a middle aged man who told me that when he first got married as a young man, he gave his wife a Hickey on her neck and someone from his church saw it and told him, “now you’re married you can do that where it don’t show” hah! lol

Lots of love

Catherine x

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Where does it say in the #Bible not to have #sex before #marriage? – #Jesus #Christian

Hello everybody,

First of all, this blog post is not intended to shame anyone but rather to inform. I’m human just like you and that makes me a sexual being, I find my faith in Jesus gives me the strength to wait 🙂 . I said something to that effect in this song I wrote Follow this link to listen or use the embedded player below:

Now to the blog!

So I’m a Christian and I read the Bible everyday and I was meditating on the biggie in Christianity about no sex before marriage. It got me thinking about the time I was dating this guy who wasn’t a Christian. He’s the reason why I stopped dating guys who weren’t Christians actually lol and the last guy I dated who was a Christian is why I’m now open to dating whoever LOL, (unmitigated disaster!) Hah hah moving on.

Anyway back to the ex before the ex before the ex. So he used to pressure me for sex and the one after that did as well (who wasn’t a Christian either) I never gave in of course. I made some colleagues laugh once when I said:

“I want to date a guy who is a Christian because every time I date guys who aren’t Christians they keep on trying to have sex with me” lol

Anyway back to the ex before the ex before the ex. Now this guy grew up in a Christian household, his brother was a Christian and his parents knew the Bible and I remember having a conversation with him once when I was having dinner at his parents house he was saying

“why can’t we have sex where does it say in the Bible you can’t have sex before marriage?”

At that point I remember realising that I actually didn’t know where it said it in the Bible, his mother told me it’s somewhere in Deuteronomy, I just accepted what she said but I never looked it up. THAT WAS BAD I WAS BEING A BAD CHRISTIAN AND AN IDIOT YOU DON’T JUST DECIDE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE ONE WAY JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE TOLD YOU TO THAT’S NOT FAITH IT’S RELIGIOUS FUNDAMENTALISM YOU SHOULD LOOK UP THINGS IN THE BIBLE YOURSELF *slaps own wrist*.

I’m muuuuuch older now and I’ve read the Bible cover to cover more than once and I really think people could benefit from some clarity on this one so here are the verses in the Old Testament that teach sexual purity as in not having sex before marriage, do look these up to see them in context:
You Sleep With It You Bought It! –

Exodus 22:16-17 [NLT] “If a man seduces a virgin who is not engaged to anyone and has sex with her, he must pay the customary bride price and marry her. [17] But if her father refuses to let him marry her, the man must still pay him an amount equal to the bride price of a virgin.”

Explanation: If a man has sex with a virgin he should marry her, if her father refuses to allow the marriage the man should still give compensate her father somehow.

Don’t Sleep Around –

Deuteronomy 22:13-21 [NLT] “Suppose a man marries a woman, but after sleeping with her, he turns against her [14] and publicly accuses her of shameful conduct, saying, ‘When I married this woman, I discovered she was not a virgin.’ [15] Then the woman’s father and mother must bring the proof of her virginity to the elders as they hold court at the town gate. [16] Her father must say to them, ‘I gave my daughter to this man to be his wife, and now he has turned against her. [17] He has accused her of shameful conduct, saying, “I discovered that your daughter was not a virgin.” But here is the proof of my daughter’s virginity.’ Then they must spread her bed sheet before the elders. [18] The elders must then take the man and punish him. [19] They must also fine him 100 pieces of silver, which he must pay to the woman’s father because he publicly accused a virgin of Israel of shameful conduct. The woman will then remain the man’s wife, and he may never divorce her. [20] “But suppose the man’s accusations are true, and he can show that she was not a virgin. [21] The woman must be taken to the door of her father’s home, and there the men of the town must stone her to death, for she has committed a disgraceful crime in Israel by being promiscuous while living in her parents’ home. In this way, you will purge this evil from among you.”

Explanation: This verse implies that a woman should be a virgin before getting married and if a man accuses her of not being a “maid” before marriage and this is not true he should compensate his wife, if it is true according to the laws of that time the woman should be put to death. (N.B. when it talks about spreading the bed sheet what they probably meant was the parents had to show her bed sheet that was probably stained with period blood, In those days, that was the only way to tell if you were a virgin or not. You menstruate when you’re not pregnant, you don’t when you are. There was no pill to stop you from getting pregnant if you had sex, so when a healthy young woman was in a sexual relationship she would have gotten pregnant, so you couldn’t hide it. The period thing was a good test.)

However, since Jesus died for our sins currently we just have to ask forgiveness for our sins and not stone people! See the following verse for an example of this:

John 8:1-11 [NLT] – “[1] Jesus returned to the Mount of Olives, [2] but early the next morning he was back again at the Temple. A crowd soon gathered, and he sat down and taught them. [3] As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd. [4] “Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. [5] The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?” [6] They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. [7] They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” [8] Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust. [9] When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. [10] Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?” [11] “No, Lord,” she said. And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.””

If you sleep with her expect a shotgun wedding –

Deuteronomy 22:28-29 [NLT] “Suppose a man has intercourse with a young woman who is a virgin but is not engaged to be married. If they are discovered, [29] he must pay her father fifty pieces of silver. Then he must marry the young woman because he violated her, and he may never divorce her as long as he lives.”

Explanation: This is the same as the verse in Exodus but much stricter, the Exodus verse says if the Father does not allow the man to marry her he should still compensate the father but this one says you have to marry her and you can never divorce her. Also, I just noticed that the verse says apparently you violate a woman when you have sex with her before marriage! Other translations say he “humbled” her, the Septuagint, which is the Greek version of the Bible that our English translations are based on says he “ἐταπείνωσεν” her which according to the LSJ (an academic Greek dictionary) means: “lower, in point of height, reduce…of a plant, decrease in size…of a planet, suffer dejection…metaph., lessen, disparage, minimize, to be lowered or lessened, humble, abase, violate a woman…in moral sense, make lowly, humble, humble oneself…” (Tufts.edu, 2017) Middle Liddel (another academic Greek dictionary) says “…to lower…metaph. to lessen, to disparage, to humble, abasein moral sense, to make lowly, to humble, to humble oneself…” (Tufts.edu, 2017)

Capture those sexy thoughts and make sure you don’t act on them!

Song of Solomon 2:15 [NLT] Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love, for the grapevines are blossoming!

Song of Solomon 2:7 [NLT] Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and wild deer, not to awaken love until the time is right.”

Explanation: It’s natural to want to sleep with the person that you are with but you need to understand that you are human and therefore fallible. This sentiment is also echoed in Song of Solomon 3:5 & 8:4. Make sure if you are in a relationship with someone that you keep your passions for each other strictly to sex within marriage because this verse clearly states that you can ruin a good thing by sleeping with each other before the right time, which is after marriage.

As I said in the beginning, I wrote a song about being human and a sexual being but waiting even though it’s sexually frustrating, no one ever likes to talk about that part of abstaining from sex before marriage lol… It’s worth it though and even if you are sleeping with you gf or bf you can stop, ask forgiveness and move on:

John 8:1-11 [NLT] – “[1] Jesus returned to the Mount of Olives, [2] but early the next morning he was back again at the Temple. A crowd soon gathered, and he sat down and taught them. [3] As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd. [4] “Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. [5] The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?” [6] They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. [7] They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” [8] Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust. [9] When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. [10] Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?” [11] “No, Lord,” she said. And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.””

Here it is again! Follow this link to listen or use the embedded player below:

Paul does say, in the New Testament that if you’re really struggling to control yourself, you should get married! lol

1 Corinthians 7:8-9 [NLT] – “[8] So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows–it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. [9] But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.”

Some young Christians tend to wear something called a Purity Ring, to represent that they are staying “Pure” till marriage, meaning that they are not going to sleep with their bf/gf before marriage, which is cool if you want to do that, I have one:

P_20171228_115037_1_1.jpg

I tend not to wear it nowadays because it actually looks like an engagement ring which was fine when I was younger but now it’s counter productive as I’m single lol. You can get lots of different kinds. I quite like the ones that say “True Love Waits” I think that’s rather special! 🙂 There’s also this thing called a purity pledge, it’s more of an American thing, it’s not something that the Bible dictates it’s just a quirky American thing. The idea behind it is that youngster’s mainly teenagers go through some mentoring thing about no sex before marriage, they then sign this pledge/contract in front of the whole church promising that they will abstain from sex before marriage. We British would find that kind of thing far too awkward to bear… lol. Instead, we tend to encourage a silent commitment between you and God and if you need mentoring it is available.

Anyway, however you manage to abstain from sex before marriage make sure you don’t self medicate with porn, we all know that it doesn’t work. There’s enough info on it now to know that it’s not just spiritually bad for you but it’s medically not good for you either. See the playlist below where Pastor Mark Gungor discusses this, he’s REALLY funny lol, I don’t agree with everything he says e.g. the Condom thing, some women can’t take the pill because of high blood pressure etc. but he’s really funny! Follow this link or play using the embedded player below for more info:

If you want a secular view on this Russell Brand on his Trews show did a rather insightful piece on it, worth a watch, he really is a thinker, NOT FOR CHILDREN (doesn’t show anything bad but he swears 2 or 3 times. Obviously I don’t agree with the end bit where he says at the end do what you gotta do, obviously…) Follow this link to watch or watch using the embedded player below:

P.S. here’s two versus about what the Bible says about Homosexuality and Bestiality there are more but I think 2 will do…

Leviticus 18:22-23 [NLT] – “[22] “Do not practice homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman. It is a detestable sin. [23] “A man must not defile himself by having sex with an animal. And a woman must not offer herself to a male animal to have intercourse with it. This is a perverse act.”

Love Catherine x

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Bibliography

http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/morph?l=e%29tapei%2Fnwsen&la=greek#lexicon (28 December 2017)

The #Church And The Mystery Of The #BlackWoman’s Body #racism #Christianity #women #Jesus

Hello everybody,

Today I would like to discuss something close to my heart. The Black woman’s body. I’ve been thinking about this topic quite a bit as I am a woman of colour.

With the rise of the Alt Right in the States and the racist Evangelical “Christians” who voted in President Trump, them and their “white Jesus”, its got me thinking about how little Western society and the church values the body of the woman of colour.
The West’s Historical Relationship With The Black Woman’s Body

Historically, in slavery times, the Black woman was not treated like a woman at all, she was put in chains and forced to do men’s work, like lay tar on roads because the Black woman was not seen to be as delicate as the White woman. What slavery did was masculinized the Black woman and emasculated the Black man. Moreover, the Black woman instead of being a beautiful, sexual being, was seen as dirty, eroticized and often forced into sexual relationships, whether it be for the White slave owners own nasty sexual fantasies, for pimping out their African enslaved women to other White men, forcing them to have babies with other slaves or forcing them to have babies with slave owners to produce more slaves. As their babies were seen as the property of the slave owners the children were promptly sold off when they were weaned. PBS did an article which provides a starting overview to this (follow this link for more info). So what the slave trade did was to create and reinforce the idea that the Black woman’s body is there merely for the White man’s “use” and the Black man was unable to do or say anything about it. Black marriages weren’t even legal during slave times, they did get married but they weren’t recognized or respected and the husbands were sold without a second thought of their wives and children. It also wasn’t legal for the enslaved women to tell their children who their father was, partly because sometimes their father was the slave owner through coerced means, trying to make more slaves or just because he wanted the slave woman. Sometimes their father was another slave that was used as a stud to produce more slaves.

These things on top of the sexual abuse and misuse of the Black woman’s body by the White man, created the idea of the Black woman’s body as always someone’s “baby mama” and never someone’s wife, as she wasn’t allowed that status and as the Black man was so emasculated and their marriages weren’t recognized and it was illegal for the Black woman to tell her children who their father was, this meant that the Black people as a whole were kept in a perpetually barstardised state. You can then understand why the uptake of Christianity was so high among both Male and Female enslaved people’s because of the promise of God the Father being the only all loving, all caring, all knowing, omnibenevolent father figure they had, who happily sacrificed part of Himself (Jesus) for them John 3:16, instead of them always having to fight for themselves. You can also understand where the mentality of the Black woman always having some baby from some man and who knows who the father is type of thing comes from because that literally is the circumstance that was forced upon the Black woman’s body. It happened.

The “church”, which was supposed to be the bastion of White morality, the moral compass and the literal heart of WASP (White Anglo Saxon Protestant) culture went along with it see this article here, it provides an overview (follow this link for more into). Can you imagine that?

Let me tell you what happened in my family history, my great great great great great maybe another great grandfather was actually a slave owner. He had a child with my great great great great great maybe another great grandmother. The child was fair and as a consequence allowed to live in the house and be free. In those times, the fairer you were the better. When she grew up, as she was fair, she married a Scottish man (a White man), their children were obviously free, they must have been fair and eventually a few centuries and more mixed marriages later, I was born. People often ask me which one of my parents is White lol. I often can’t be bothered to go into why and just say I have European ancestors.
Jesus would have been dark skinned

Now for all you racist “Christians” I would just like to say to all of those who are confused, Jesus was not White, He was a Jew! He WOULD NOT have been blonde, He would have had brown hair, brown eyes and brown skin, you know why? Jews from the Bible were mixed with the following groups of people:

  • North Africans partly from their time in Egypt, some Egyptians went with them Exodus 12:38;
  • Peoples we would have understood today as Arabs;
  • and Ethiopians and the Cushites who were also part Ethiopian, part Eastern African (follow this link for more info) (so the Kenyans etc.) and part Southern Egyptian, they were the descedents of Cush, son of Ham, Noah’s youngest son.
  • I’m probably fairer than they were lol.

Modern Jews today look more European due to increased social mobility and the various World Wars and persecution which forced them into Eastern Europe (Ashkenazi (follow this link for more info) Jews) and the Mediterranean (Sephardic (follow this link for more info) Jews). That’s why now you get some Jewish people who are blonde etc.
What does the Bible say about Black Women?

Moses married a Cushite woman and his sister Miriam was racist and didn’t like it. So God decided that if she liked white skin so much He would make her white by giving her Leprosy, to teach her not to be so judgemental again.

Numbers 12:1-15 [NLT]

“[1] While they were at Hazeroth, Miriam and Aaron criticized Moses because he had married a Cushite woman (authors own note: Cushite = a black woman). [2] They said, “Has the LORD spoken only through Moses? Hasn’t he spoken through us, too?” But the LORD heard them. [3] (Now Moses was very humble-more humble than any other person on earth.) [4] So immediately the LORD called to Moses, Aaron, and Miriam and said, “Go out to the Tabernacle, all three of you!” So the three of them went to the Tabernacle. [5] Then the LORD descended in the pillar of cloud and stood at the entrance of the Tabernacle. “Aaron and Miriam!” he called, and they stepped forward. [6] And the LORD said to them, “Now listen to what I say: “If there were prophets among you, I, the LORD, would reveal myself in visions. I would speak to them in dreams. [7] But not with my servant Moses. Of all my house, he is the one I trust. [8] I speak to him face to face, clearly, and not in riddles! He sees the LORD as he is. So why were you not afraid to criticize my servant Moses?” [9] The LORD was very angry with them, and he departed. [10] As the cloud moved from above the Tabernacle, there stood Miriam, her skin as white as snow from leprosy. When Aaron saw what had happened to her, [11] he cried out to Moses, “Oh, my master! Please don’t punish us for this sin we have so foolishly committed. [12] Don’t let her be like a stillborn baby, already decayed at birth.” [13] So Moses cried out to the LORD, “O God, I beg you, please heal her!” [14] But the LORD said to Moses, “If her father had done nothing more than spit in her face, wouldn’t she be defiled for seven days? So keep her outside the camp for seven days, and after that she may be accepted back.” [15] So Miriam was kept outside the camp for seven days, and the people waited until she was brought back before they traveled again.”

Basically, God said there if He God, King of Kings and Lord of Lords accepts Moses with his BLACK WIFE to the extent that He God speaks to him face to face, in a way that God didn’t do with anyone else in that day, who are you to be discriminating and complaining? If there was something wrong with marrying a Black woman God wouldn’t have been so close with Moses, if it’s good enough for God it’s good enough for you!

The church is also presented as a Black woman, in Song of Songs (also known as Song of Solomon) the love interest bucks the social trend in the West of beauty being primarily White by presenting the love interest as a Black woman. I wrote a song about Song of Songs

As we know, the imagery of the young woman and her lover seen in Song of Songs represents a young woman and King Soloman, as well as Wives and Husbands, as well as The Church which is always represented as a woman and Jesus Christ.

Song of Solomon 1:5-6 [NLT]

“[5] I am dark but beautiful, O women of Jerusalem- dark as the tents of Kedar, dark as the curtains of Solomon’s tents. [6] Don’t stare at me because I am dark- the sun has darkened my skin. My brothers were angry with me; they forced me to care for their vineyards, so I couldn’t care for myself-my own vineyard.”

Poor thing was forced to work out in the sun the same way White slavers used to make Black women work in the sun. Looks like she was already dark and then got a tan which made her darker – yes Black people tan – see below

Me before I went to Barbados

Me when I came back!

In Song of Songs, the lover who is the man also representative of King Solomon and Jesus is also represented by a Black man or at least someone who is dark look:

Song of Solomon 5:10-11 [NLT]

“[10] My lover is dark and dazzling, better than ten thousand others! [11] His head is finest gold, his wavy hair is black as a raven.”

The Bible represents Black people as beautiful, it’s just been brushed over in some “Whitespiracy”. Yes, there are verses which talk about slaves must obey their masters. I admit that they are there and it will take another blog post to write an apologetic for that. However, those people who used the Bible to justify slavery and the way the Black woman’s body was treated never read:

Colossians 3:11-12 [NLT] “[11] In this new life, it doesn’t matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized, slave, or free. Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us. [12] Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”

Galatians 3:28 [NLT] “[28] There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

Matthew 23:8-12 [NLT] “[8] “Don’t let anyone call you ‘Rabbi,’ for you have only one teacher, and all of you are equal as brothers and sisters. [9] And don’t address anyone here on earth as ‘Father,’ for only God in heaven is your spiritual Father. [10] And don’t let anyone call you ‘Teacher,’ for you have only one teacher, the Messiah. [11] The greatest among you must be a servant. [12] But those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

Luke 6:40 [NLT] “[40] Students are not greater than their teacher. But the student who is fully trained will become like the teacher.”

1 Peter 3:7 [NLT] “[7] In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.”

Clearly White supremacy, racism and chauvinism of any kind is not a Biblical world-view and must be exorcised from Anglo-American/European Christianity.
My personal experience: how the “church” has treated my Black female body

I personally have experienced discrimination at the hands of White “Christian” guys who were COWARDS, too scared to marry me because their mother didn’t appreciate that I wasn’t Caucasian and so our children would be half Black.

I’ve also had scenarios where White “Christian” guys were COWARDS again, they were too afraid of their White friends laughing at them, saying not nice things about me to the guy who was interested in me behind my back because he was interested in a black girl. Saying that I was ugly, just because I was black, in an attempt to try and put him off. Newsflash IDIOT they were jealous…. and racist and annoyed at themselves because they were jealous and couldn’t find any reasonable reason to try to get him to not date me.

I’ve met some really nice White guys. I’m constantly bumping into White guys who are a fan of women of colour. It’s not actually hard to find them, they tend to seek you out if they are that way inclined anyway, also I live in England, I think African/Caribbean people are only 5% of the population here. They aren’t all bad, I’m just giving examples that need shaming although I shan’t do any naming. It’s nothing as bad as America here. Many of my friends are in mixed ethnicity relationships, many of them are happily married with children, cute little children at that!

The fastest growing ethnicity in England and Wales is actually the Mixed Race ethnicity, the BBC did a whole thing on it (follow this link for more info). I myself am mixed, as I said at the beginning, also my grandfather on one side was half African-Caribbean, half Caucasian. On another side I have a great grandfather that was French. So I’m part African, Caribbean, French, Scottish and Anglo-Saxon of some description.
Who misses out when we don’t respect the Black woman’s body?

Now I’ve been thinking, who looses in this battle between the White Alpha-Male and the oppressed Black woman? To answer this question lets look at the facts, lets combine Science and Theology:

Science says:

Christian Theology/The Bible says:

  • Humans reproduce through sexual reproduction
    • Genesis 3:16,20 [NLT] “[16] Then he said to the woman, “I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you. “… “[20] Then the man-Adam-named his wife Eve, because she would be the mother of all who live.”;
    • Genesis 4:1 [NLT] “Now Adam had sexual relations with his wife, Eve, and she became pregnant. When she gave birth to Cain, she said, “With the LORD’s help, I have produced a man!”
  • It is impossible for humans to reproduce without a female –
    • 1 Corinthians 11:12 [NLT] “For although the first woman came from man, every other man was born from a woman, and everything comes from God.”
  • Humans were created –
    • Genesis 1:26-28 [NLT] “[26] Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us. They will reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock, all the wild animals on the earth, and the small animals that scurry along the ground.” [27] So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. [28] Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground.”
  • The first humans were situated in a garden, Eden which was around what we consider in contemporary times to be around Africa-ish (don’t quote me on this at all lol), (yes I know the world used to be one land mass Pangea then plate tectonics etc now we have continents the point is that the Bible situates/associates Eden in/around an area known to have Black people).
    • We know this because Genesis 2:10-11,13 says that “[10] A river flowed from the land of Eden, watering the garden and then dividing into four branches. [11]… [13] The second branch, called the Gihon, flowed around the entire land of Cush.” As we know Cush is considered by Biblical scholars to be Ethiopia so this could have been an ancient Ethiopia perhaps?

The science does back up the Biblical account of humanity, apart from Evolution, however, look if the evidence is that humanity developed mainly in Africa then it’s only common sense to assume then that the ONLY place the Garden of Eden could have been was Africa if the first people, who we know were African’s, lived and developed in Africa then that’s where the Garden of Eden was. If they find a few more bones that are older, somewhere else, I’ll repent of my theories. Also, the Gold deposits and so on that are described as being there, you’ve got to look at where those could have been and Africa is one of the locations that could have been where the Garden of Eden was.

Ok, so the first people were Africans, the scientists and Theologians agree on that. Africans are black (brown). God is orderly,

1 Corinthians 14:33 [NLT] “For God is not a God of disorder but of peace, as in all the meetings of God’s holy people.”

Evolution is something that happens where sensible changes occur due to environment/food. An organism that is suited to the environment will flourish and pass on it’s genes and one that is not suitable, the theory assumes, will not flourish and maybe die out. The theory assumes that changes that aren’t useful aren’t sustained through natural selection because they aren’t useful. Again this is all GCSE Evolution stuff http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/gcsebitesize/science/aqa/evolutiontheories/theoriesofevolutionrev4.shtml.

This explains why Black people have more melanin in their skin, better protection from the sun (we still burn though, everybody needs to stay out of the sun see this article for more on melanin https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2671032/), they tend to have either the sickle cell trait (like me) or the full blown thing, that provides protection from malaria, these are physical adaptations that suit the hot environments that Black people tend to live in this article goes in to that and other ethnicities which may have an even better immunity https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3269803/. Whereas areas that tend not to be populated by Black people are not as sunny and you get lots of White people, this article explains about the amount of UV radiation an area gets and how that correlates to skin colour, basically, the sunnier the area, the darker the skin to protect from the sun, the less sunny a place is the lighter the skin to absorb as much sunlight as possible for making Vit D https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/evolution/library/07/3/text_pop/l_073_04.html, TBH the whole making Vitamin D thing is probably why humans were originally naked in the first place. Keeps you cool as well!

God is not disorderly, He is sensible, all knowing and just and things don’t happen in evolution that are not useful to the organism or are not suitable for the environment/longevity for the organism.

So in answer to my question, in the war between the White Alpha-Male and the oppressed Black Woman, the biggest looser is actually the White Alpha-Male. I think this because clearly thinking about God being sensible/orderly and Evolution being sensible and orderly we can assume that the Black woman would never have developed or been created if she was not the most useful, appropriate and evolutionarily/theologically sound, emotionally gratifying, intellectually satisfying and sexually compatible companion for the male Homo Sapien. It’s from the Black woman that all these other ethnicities came from, the genes that were able to adapt so well to the colder environments producing Caucasian people came from Black people! To this day the Black woman’s body STILL thrives, even after everything that the White man has thrown at her, she still continues, still unbroken. With that in mind, with the resilience of the Black woman’s body and mind, if she had been able to thrive culturally, what kind of place would the world have been today? What kind of contribution, genetically, emotionally, physically, spiritually could the Black woman have made if she was given a voice, respect, dignity?
RECAP: Let’s do a non-racist re-read of the Genesis account

Think, the first woman, Eve, had to be Black, even scientists corroborate that. It’s well known that the first people were Africans. With that in mind, lets do a non-racist look at Genesis again:

Genesis 1:26-27 [NLT]

“[26] Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us. They will reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock, all the wild animals on the earth, and the small animals that scurry along the ground.” [27] So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”

So in the beginning, God made the first humans, as we know from the Bible and science that the first humans lived in Africa. So when God said “let’s make humans in our image”, HE MADE TWO BLACK PEOPLE haha! You racist Evangelical “Christians” can stick that in your pipe and smoke it!!! The first humans, as the scientists said came from Africa! Which means that when God thought about making a people in His own image a Black person was the first thing that came to mind and when God looked over it He Himself said it was good! HAH!

Genesis 1:31 [NLT] “[31] Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good! And evening passed and morning came, marking the sixth day.”

God said the people He had just made, the Black people, were good, how dare you say otherwise? Who are you? Have you actually read your Bible? If’ you’re racist or you allow other people to influence your choices based on racist ideology and you call yourself a Christian you have not read your Bible at all, it’s an un-scriptural thought process and scientifically/evolutionarily unsound thought process. Remember, if Moses’ Black wife was good enough for God, then Black people today should be good enough for you.

What else does Genesis say?

Genesis 2:18,21-25 [NLT]

“[18] Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”… “[21] So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the LORD God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. [22] Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. [23] “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.'” [24] This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. [25] Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.”

Oh look at that, when God saw that it wasn’t good for the man to be alone, He made the perfect companion for the man, woman who Adam called “Woman” and then called her “Eve” after the fall, as we know the first humans were Africans so EVE WAS BLACK, God thought that the perfect companion for the man was A BLACK WOMAN this just keeps on getting better!

You know the thing that warms the cockles of my heart the most? ADAM GAZED UPON EVE’S NAKED BODY, OBSERVED THE WAY THE LIGHT FLICKERED OF HER BEAUTIFUL BROWN CURVES AND ADAM LIKED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha! =P

Genesis 2:22-24 [NLT]

“[22] Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. [23] “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.'” [24] This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”

Yes, Adam would have been Black himself and yes a case could be made that he was more likely to want a woman his colour, however, what I will say to that is what this story illustrates is that when man first saw woman he liked her and she was Black. I’m just pointing out yet again another lost narrative promoting and affirming the beauty and desirability of the Black woman.
Other reasons racism makes you miss out

When you just date within your race as a rule of thumb you basically become inbred and miss out on what is called Hybrid-Rigidity (it goes by other names as well), in a nutshell, that means that illnesses common to one family are cancelled out by the new genes from another family. There was an interesting study done on this, apparently people who have a mixed ethnicity are perceived to be more attractive because of this hybrid-rigidity thing, you can read a about it here (succinct summary) (wider summary) (the actual study). I’m not saying that one ethnicity is more attractive than an other, I can’t and I outright refuse to. How can one possibly quantify attractiveness? Really? I’m just pointing out that research has been done in the area.
Racism vs Sexual preference

I really think I need to put this in here. There is a MASSIVE difference between racist ideology and sexual preference. Sexual preference always supersedes racist ideology psychologically but racist ideology will always influence the sexual preferences a person will ultimately express. Let me explain, you can’t help who you are attracted to, if you’re attracted to a Black woman, no matter how hard you try you will always be attracted to that woman but because you are racist or a coward, you won’t ever follow through on your feelings and will forever internalise your affection for that woman.

However, if a man is attracted to blonde hair and blue eyes, he’s attracted to blonde hair and blue eyes, these are normally found on White women, so he’s going to end up with a White woman because that is his sexual preference, not necessarily because he thinks Black women are ugly, he just likes the look of biological attributes that are primarily attributed to White women. There’s nothing wrong with that.

What would be considered racism is the idea that ONLY White women or women of a certain ethnicity CAN be attractive and no other ethnicity is capable of producing attractive women. With a thought process like that a man then departs from the justification of sexual preference and enters the realms of racist ideology.
The best bit

At this point you must be thinking, so where is Catherine going with this? Well I’m saving the best bit till last! As we all came from Africans it means everyone is actually Black anyway, some are just a lighter shade of brown, Black people and White people are compatible because we are both humans, we are related. There is one human race and many ethnicities just like there are lots of different shaped and coloured flowers!

The Black woman’s body needs to be respected and loved and our minds need to be respected as well. The Black woman’s body needs to be seen as beautiful and associated with beauty not eroticism. The black woman’s body needs to be seen as the source of diversity if all people came from Africa. I’m not saying that Black women are the most attractive women in the world. I am saying that everything that you look at a woman and think is attractive came from the genes of a Black woman. I’m not saying that they are better companions for men than any other race but I just think that we need to recognise that Eve was Black and do away with any kind of notions of supremacy until they find some more bones somewhere else.

The church and society needs to view the body of the Black woman the same way God does, beautiful, resourceful and an asset to the man who loves and cares for her. The church/theologians have a lot to answer for and I’m angry because it only take a simple Google search to find many of the answers to the things that I’ve been discussing yet the mainstream Theologians will not dedicate enough time to this dialogue. The church needs to re-read the Bible without the Racist-Eurocentric-White-Alpha-Male-phillic goggles and reassess the status of the Black woman’s body within the Bible and honestly someone should apologize to the Black community for the church’s involvement in slavery and keeping the Black woman down. (It might have already been done, I didn’t look it up, I assume it hasn’t because it would come up every Black History Month if it did but I could be wrong).

I am a Christian, I believe in Jesus and I also believe in proper research, thinking things through. Other people will try and gloss over things to not bring embarrassment to the church but I hope people reading this will believe me, someone who has your best interests at heart will point out things that are wrong even if they will hurt the institution that they belong to. Even though I am a Christian, I believe what has gone on in the church is wrong, yes the African’s did sell each other into slavery and the slavers as well as the African’s should apologise to the African-American and Caribbean diaspora descendents of those slaves BUT the church and theologians are responsible for what happened later to the Black woman’s body, whilst the White man was in loci parentis after they left Africa, not just to us but the church has treated the Jews badly too. If the main popular leaders and theologians dedicated more time and publicity to the topic things would be different but they are too scared. What White Male Pastor of a mega-church in America is ever going to say “When God decided to make humans in His own image He made two Black people” ? -_- Jesus didn’t create organized religion, Humans did. Christianity has been politicized heavily. We need to live a Holy God centred life not a religious one, we need to follow Jesus not tradition and we need to read the Bible and say what it says not what we think or want it to say and do so with integrity. How can we expect people to believe in Jesus if we CONSTANTLY MISREPRESENT HIM? Jesus is for every colour. There were racial tensions in Jesus’ day too an when non-Jews talked to him He talked with them – John4:4-30 ; healed them -Matthew 8:5-11; and even defended them as we see in the story of Moses’ wife Numbers 12:1-15 and also the story of the Good Samaritan Luke 10:25-37 (the Samaritans and the Jews did not like each other).

The Black woman needs to be seen as beautiful because we are and the Bible corroborates that, God doesn’t mind the mixed relationships because God knows that we are all the same. Quit the dismissal of the Black woman just quit it right now, anyone who tries to get you not to date a Black woman based solely on her race is a nit-wit, don’t date her because she doesn’t share your values or she’s too young for you or she lives too far away or you can’t stand her cooking lol but not because she isn’t your colour! Remember, you are just as African as she is, you just forgot.

Written by a Black woman, who is also a woman of faith, a musician and an academic

Catherine

God Saves The Best For Last #Jesus #feminist #Christian #marriage

I’m so sorry I posted the wrong revision of this yesterday, please note I added extra parts at the bottom in the section talking about women basically noting that although women are made as a helper for the men, we aren’t just an afterthought designed to only service men. Women are equal to men and like every other created being, are for the glory of Jesus, created in the image of God and I noted that it would be heretical to assume otherwise, we just have other cool skills/functions men don’t have like e.g childbirth. I don’t subscribe to submission theology, I’m an egalitarian.

Hey Gals and Guys!,

Remember this song? Save The Best For Last by Vanessa Williams (follow this link or play it in the embedded player below)

The lyrics got me thinking, God saves the best for last, lets examine this!

FIRST LAST AND LAST FIRST

We already know that God promotes the people in last place all the time. David was the youngest son 1 Samuel 16:11-13, it says in the Bible that the first will be last and last first Matthew 20:16, also, if you want to be a leader you have to be a servant of all:

Matthew 20:25-28 [NLT]

“[25] But Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. [26] But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, [27] and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave. [28] For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.””

HUMANS – THE FIRST MAN

  • FIRST – Adam, imperfect son of God, here’s the genealogy from Jesus to Adam:

Luke 3:23-38 [NLT]

“[23] Jesus was about thirty years old when he began his public ministry. Jesus was known as the son of Joseph. Joseph was the son of Heli. [24] Heli was the son of Matthat. Matthat was the son of Levi. Levi was the son of Melki. Melki was the son of Jannai. Jannai was the son of Joseph. [25] Joseph was the son of Mattathias. Mattathias was the son of Amos. Amos was the son of Nahum. Nahum was the son of Esli. Esli was the son of Naggai. [26] Naggai was the son of Maath. Maath was the son of Mattathias. Mattathias was the son of Semein. Semein was the son of Josech. Josech was the son of Joda. [27] Joda was the son of Joanan. Joanan was the son of Rhesa. Rhesa was the son of Zerubbabel. Zerubbabel was the son of Shealtiel. Shealtiel was the son of Neri. [28] Neri was the son of Melki. Melki was the son of Addi. Addi was the son of Cosam. Cosam was the son of Elmadam. Elmadam was the son of Er. [29] Er was the son of Joshua. Joshua was the son of Eliezer. Eliezer was the son of Jorim. Jorim was the son of Matthat. Matthat was the son of Levi. [30] Levi was the son of Simeon. Simeon was the son of Judah. Judah was the son of Joseph. Joseph was the son of Jonam. Jonam was the son of Eliakim. [31] Eliakim was the son of Melea. Melea was the son of Menna. Menna was the son of Mattatha. Mattatha was the son of Nathan. Nathan was the son of David. [32] David was the son of Jesse. Jesse was the son of Obed. Obed was the son of Boaz. Boaz was the son of Salmon. Salmon was the son of Nahshon. [33] Nahshon was the son of Amminadab. Amminadab was the son of Admin. Admin was the son of Arni. Arni was the son of Hezron. Hezron was the son of Perez. Perez was the son of Judah. [34] Judah was the son of Jacob. Jacob was the son of Isaac. Isaac was the son of Abraham. Abraham was the son of Terah. Terah was the son of Nahor. [35] Nahor was the son of Serug. Serug was the son of Reu. Reu was the son of Peleg. Peleg was the son of Eber. Eber was the son of Shelah. [36] Shelah was the son of Cainan. Cainan was the son of Arphaxad. Arphaxad was the son of Shem. Shem was the son of Noah. Noah was the son of Lamech. [37] Lamech was the son of Methuselah. Methuselah was the son of Enoch. Enoch was the son of Jared. Jared was the son of Mahalalel. Mahalalel was the son of Kenan. [38] Kenan was the son of Enosh. Enosh was the son of Seth. Seth was the son of Adam. Adam was the son of God.”

  • Stood there whilst his wife was tricked into sinning and did nothing

Genesis 3:1-7 [NLT]

“[1] The serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the LORD God had made. One day he asked the woman, “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?” [2] “Of course we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,” the woman replied. [3] “It’s only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden that we are not allowed to eat. God said, ‘You must not eat it or even touch it; if you do, you will die.'” [4] “You won’t die!” the serpent replied to the woman. [5] “God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.” [6] The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too. [7] At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves.”

  • Then proceeded to disobey an explicit command, this one act condemned everybody

Genesis 2:15-17 [NLT]

“[15] The LORD God placed the man in the Garden of Eden to tend and watch over it. [16] But the LORD God warned him, “You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden– [17] except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die.””

  • Death and sin entered the world because of him

Romans 5:12-19 [NLT]

“[12] When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam’s sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned. [13] Yes, people sinned even before the law was given. But it was not counted as sin because there was not yet any law to break. [14] Still, everyone died–from the time of Adam to the time of Moses–even those who did not disobey an explicit commandment of God, as Adam did. Now Adam is a symbol, a representation of Christ, who was yet to come. [15] But there is a great difference between Adam’s sin and God’s gracious gift. For the sin of this one man, Adam, brought death to many. But even greater is God’s wonderful grace and his gift of forgiveness to many through this other man, Jesus Christ. [16] And the result of God’s gracious gift is very different from the result of that one man’s sin. For Adam’s sin led to condemnation, but God’s free gift leads to our being made right with God, even though we are guilty of many sins. [17] For the sin of this one man, Adam, caused death to rule over many. But even greater is God’s wonderful grace and his gift of righteousness, for all who receive it will live in triumph over sin and death through this one man, Jesus Christ. [18] Yes, Adam’s one sin brings condemnation for everyone, but Christ’s one act of righteousness brings a right relationship with God and new life for everyone. [19] Because one person disobeyed God, many became sinners. But because one other person obeyed God, many will be made righteous.”

  • SECOND – Jesus Christ was the Perfect Son of God, part of the Godhead, not created like Adam.

Matthew 3:16-17 [NLT]

“[16] After his baptism, as Jesus came up out of the water, the heavens were opened and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and settling on him. [17] And a voice from heaven said, “This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy.””

John 17:1-5, 20-23 [NLT]

“[1] After saying all these things, Jesus looked up to heaven and said, “Father, the hour has come. Glorify your Son so he can give glory back to you. [2] For you have given him authority over everyone. He gives eternal life to each one you have given him. [3] And this is the way to have eternal life–to know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, the one you sent to earth. [4] I brought glory to you here on earth by completing the work you gave me to do. [5] Now, Father, bring me into the glory we shared before the world began. … [20] “I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who will ever believe in me through their message. [21] I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one–as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me. [22] “I have given them the glory you gave me, so they may be one as we are one. [23] I am in them and you are in me. May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me.”

  • Jesus was also the second Adam, metaphorically/figuratively speaking

1 Corinthians 15:45 [NLT]

“[45] The Scriptures tell us, “The first man, Adam, became a living person.” But the last Adam–that is, Christ–is a life-giving Spirit.”

  • Jesus was perfect, didn’t stand by whilst his “wife” (1 Cor 12:27, 2 Cor 11:2, Rev 21:9), the church, was being tricked instead He corrected the mistake, the true Son of God, Jesus’ one act of righteousness saved everyone from Adam’s one act of sin

Romans 5:18-19 [NLT]

“[18] Yes, Adam’s one sin brings condemnation for everyone, but Christ’s one act of righteousness brings a right relationship with God and new life for everyone. [19] Because one person disobeyed God, many became sinners. But because one other person obeyed God, many will be made righteous.”

  • Jesus was perfect, didn’t stand by whilst his “wife”, the church, was being tricked instead He corrected the mistake,

Matthew 23:1-5 [NLT]

“[1] Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples, [2] “The teachers of religious law and the Pharisees are the official interpreters of the law of Moses. [3] So practice and obey whatever they tell you, but don’t follow their example. For they don’t practice what they teach. [4] They crush people with unbearable religious demands and never lift a finger to ease the burden. [5] “Everything they do is for show. On their arms they wear extra wide prayer boxes with Scripture verses inside, and they wear robes with extra long tassels.”

Mark 2:15-17 [NLT]

“[15] Later, Levi invited Jesus and his disciples to his home as dinner guests, along with many tax collectors and other disreputable sinners. (There were many people of this kind among Jesus’ followers.) [16] But when the teachers of religious law who were Pharisees saw him eating with tax collectors and other sinners, they asked his disciples, “Why does he eat with such scum?” [17] When Jesus heard this, he told them, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor–sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.””

Matthew 4:17 [NLT]

“[17] From then on Jesus began to preach, “Repent of your sins and turn to God, for the Kingdom of Heaven is near.””

Ephesians 5:25-30 [NLT]

“[25] For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her [26] to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. [27] He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. [28] In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. [29] No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. [30] And we are members of his body.”

Colossians 1:22 [NLT]

“[22] Yet now he has reconciled you to himself through the death of Christ in his physical body. As a result, he has brought you into his own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault.”

Revelation 21:3-8 [NLT]

“[3] I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them. [4] He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” [5] And the one sitting on the throne said, “Look, I am making everything new!” And then he said to me, “Write this down, for what I tell you is trustworthy and true.” [6] And he also said, “It is finished! I am the Alpha and the Omega–the Beginning and the End. To all who are thirsty I will give freely from the springs of the water of life. [7] All who are victorious will inherit all these blessings, and I will be their God, and they will be my children. [8] “But cowards, unbelievers, the corrupt, murderers, the immoral, those who practice witchcraft, idol worshipers, and all liars–their fate is in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.””

SALVATION

  • FIRST – The Law of Moses and the Aaronic priesthood came first, as a way to atone the Israelites to God – this was imperfect and could only temporarily atone IMPERFECT

Hebrews 7:18-26 [NLT]

“[18] Yes, the old requirement about the priesthood was set aside because it was weak and useless. [19] For the law never made anything perfect. But now we have confidence in a better hope, through which we draw near to God. [20] This new system was established with a solemn oath. Aaron’s descendants became priests without such an oath, [21] but there was an oath regarding Jesus. For God said to him, “The LORD has taken an oath and will not break his vow: ‘You are a priest forever.'” [22] Because of this oath, Jesus is the one who guarantees this better covenant with God. [23] There were many priests under the old system, for death prevented them from remaining in office. [24] But because Jesus lives forever, his priesthood lasts forever. [25] Therefore he is able, once and forever, to save those who come to God through him. He lives forever to intercede with God on their behalf. [26] He is the kind of high priest we need because he is holy and blameless, unstained by sin. He has been set apart from sinners and has been given the highest place of honor in heaven.”

  • SECOND – Salvation through faith alone – came second and this was a perfect way to atone not only the Israelites but the Gentiles (everybody who isn’t a Jew) to Christ. This was PERFECT

Hebrews 10:1-5, 10-12, 14, 18-20 [NLT]

“[1] The old system under the law of Moses was only a shadow, a dim preview of the good things to come, not the good things themselves. The sacrifices under that system were repeated again and again, year after year, but they were never able to provide perfect cleansing for those who came to worship. [2] If they could have provided perfect cleansing, the sacrifices would have stopped, for the worshipers would have been purified once for all time, and their feelings of guilt would have disappeared. [3] But instead, those sacrifices actually reminded them of their sins year after year. [4] For it is not possible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sins. [5] That is why, when Christ came into the world, he said to God, “You did not want animal sacrifices or sin offerings. But you have given me a body to offer. … [10] For God’s will was for us to be made holy by the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ, once for all time. [11] Under the old covenant, the priest stands and ministers before the altar day after day, offering the same sacrifices again and again, which can never take away sins. [12] But our High Priest offered himself to God as a single sacrifice for sins, good for all time. Then he sat down in the place of honor at God’s right hand. … [14] For by that one offering he forever made perfect those who are being made holy. … [18] And when sins have been forgiven, there is no need to offer any more sacrifices. [19] And so, dear brothers and sisters, we can boldly enter heaven’s Most Holy Place because of the blood of Jesus. [20] By his death, Jesus opened a new and life-giving way through the curtain into the Most Holy Place.”

John 3:16-18 [NLT]

“[16] “For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. [17] God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him. [18] “There is no judgment against anyone who believes in him. But anyone who does not believe in him has already been judged for not believing in God’s one and only Son.”

EARTH

  • FIRST – The Earth we are on now is only “good”, as it says in Genesis, however, as any reasonable scientist will tell you it’s not going to last forever, the Sun will become a supernova one day and engulf the Earth. Also, global warming etc. Most importantly

[Genesis 1:31 NLT]

“[31] Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good! And evening passed and morning came, marking the sixth day.”

  • Humans don’t at present enjoy the close relationship we had in the Garden of Eden where Jesus would walk around with us face to face.

Genesis 3:8-9 [NLT]

“[8] When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the LORD God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the LORD God among the trees. [9] Then the LORD God called to the man, “Where are you?””

  • SECOND – New Jerusalem, impressive, clean, powered by Jesus not electricity or the sun, only good people can live there so there is no crime, there’s the tree of life for healing as well as Jesus so there is no sickness either, people don’t have to pay for water so there is no poverty either.

Revelation 21:1-2, 5-6, 9-10, 22-27 [NLT]

“[1] Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the old heaven and the old earth had disappeared. And the sea was also gone. [2] And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven like a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. … [5] And the one sitting on the throne said, “Look, I am making everything new!” And then he said to me, “Write this down, for what I tell you is trustworthy and true.” [6] And he also said, “It is finished! I am the Alpha and the Omega–the Beginning and the End. To all who are thirsty I will give freely from the springs of the water of life. … [9] Then one of the seven angels who held the seven bowls containing the seven last plagues came and said to me, “Come with me! I will show you the bride, the wife of the Lamb.” [10] So he took me in the Spirit to a great, high mountain, and he showed me the holy city, Jerusalem, descending out of heaven from God. … [22] I saw no temple in the city, for the Lord God Almighty and the Lamb are its temple. [23] And the city has no need of sun or moon, for the glory of God illuminates the city, and the Lamb is its light. [24] The nations will walk in its light, and the kings of the world will enter the city in all their glory. [25] Its gates will never be closed at the end of day because there is no night there. [26] And all the nations will bring their glory and honor into the city. [27] Nothing evil will be allowed to enter, nor anyone who practices shameful idolatry and dishonesty–but only those whose names are written in the Lamb’s Book of Life.”

Revelation 22:1-5 [NLT]

“[1] Then the angel showed me a river with the water of life, clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb. [2] It flowed down the center of the main street. On each side of the river grew a tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, with a fresh crop each month. The leaves were used for medicine to heal the nations. [3] No longer will there be a curse upon anything. For the throne of God and of the Lamb will be there, and his servants will worship him. [4] And they will see his face, and his name will be written on their foreheads. [5] And there will be no night there–no need for lamps or sun–for the Lord God will shine on them. And they will reign forever and ever.”

NEW WINE

  • FIRST – Old wine, representing the old ways in the scriptures

Luke 5:33-35 [NLT]

“[33] One day some people said to Jesus, “John the Baptist’s disciples fast and pray regularly, and so do the disciples of the Pharisees. Why are your disciples always eating and drinking?” [34] Jesus responded, “Do wedding guests fast while celebrating with the groom? Of course not. [35] But someday the groom will be taken away from them, and then they will fast.””

  • SECOND – New wine, representing salvation through faith in Jesus and not by works

Luke 5:36-39 [NLT]

“[36] Then Jesus gave them this illustration: “No one tears a piece of cloth from a new garment and uses it to patch an old garment. For then the new garment would be ruined, and the new patch wouldn’t even match the old garment. [37] “And no one puts new wine into old wineskins. For the new wine would burst the wineskins, spilling the wine and ruining the skins. [38] New wine must be stored in new wineskins. [39] But no one who drinks the old wine seems to want the new wine. ‘The old is just fine,’ they say.””

MORE WINE! DRINKS AT THE WEDDING AT CANA

  • FIRST – The wine that the hosts had provided was ok but ran out. Representing the old ways, imperfect nature of the old covenant and the finite nature of atonement under the old priestly system

John 2:1-3 [NLT]

“[1] The next day there was a wedding celebration in the village of Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there, [2] and Jesus and his disciples were also invited to the celebration. [3] The wine supply ran out during the festivities, so Jesus’ mother told him, “They have no more wine.””

  • SECOND – The wine that Jesus made last, at the end of the party was the best!

John 2:4-11 [NLT]

“[4] “Dear woman, that’s not our problem,” Jesus replied. “My time has not yet come.” [5] But his mother told the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.” [6] Standing nearby were six stone water jars, used for Jewish ceremonial washing. Each could hold twenty to thirty gallons. [7] Jesus told the servants, “Fill the jars with water.” When the jars had been filled, [8] he said, “Now dip some out, and take it to the master of ceremonies.” So the servants followed his instructions. [9] When the master of ceremonies tasted the water that was now wine, not knowing where it had come from (though, of course, the servants knew), he called the bridegroom over. [10] “A host always serves the best wine first,” he said. “Then, when everyone has had a lot to drink, he brings out the less expensive wine. But you have kept the best until now!” [11] This miraculous sign at Cana in Galilee was the first time Jesus revealed his glory. And his disciples believed in him.”

CREATION – BACK TO ADAM

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Genesis 2:7-8, 15-17 [NLT]

“[7] Then the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground. He breathed the breath of life into the man’s nostrils, and the man became a living person. [8] Then the LORD God planted a garden in Eden in the east, and there he placed the man he had made. … [15] The LORD God placed the man in the Garden of Eden to tend and watch over it. [16] But the LORD God warned him, “You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden– [17] except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die.””

Men are good at stuff, like opening cans! Hitting wood with hammers, killing spiders, I’m trying to think of things men can do that women can’t, umm, wee standing up?

According to the Telegraph newspaper men are better than women at the following things: Drinking, going bald, getting ready, going to the toilet standing up, shopping, making it to the end of the street without being ogled, ageing (read the article here)

Huffington Post says men are good at the following: Being on top saving our jowls being exposed lol, seeing a woman as prettier than she thinks she is, being patient when women shop, they love commitment, half-listening (this has happened to me so many times, I’m pretty sure none of my guy friends listen to 100% verbatim everything that I say lol they skim the important bits, I don’t like it when I can tell their not listening)

  • SECOND – Woman – humanity would have died out ages ago if there weren’t any woman due to our reproductive capabilities, we have a better sense of smell, wider peripheral vision, we’re physically warmer (higher body temperature) than men, stronger connections in our brains between the sensory parts of our brains so we are more in touch with our feelings, 🙂

[Genesis 2:18-25 NLT]

“[18] Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” [19] So the LORD God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. [20] He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him. [21] So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the LORD God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. [22] Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. [23] “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.'” [24] This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. [25] Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.”

women-empowerment

The Metro says women are apparently better than men at the following: walking in heels, holding babies, comforting people when they cry, getting drinks bought for them, accessorising, shopping, giving advice, exercise, makeup, thanks Metro for that…

The Telegraph also says women are better at the following: Multi-tasking, Job interviews, driving, empathising, running successful businesses, coding, not being ill apparently men are more susceptible to illness due to their higher levels of testosterone.

Now look, all this aside the Bible says that women were created because Men cannot do life on their own, the word helper that is used here is ezer

Genesis 2:18-25 [NLT]

“[18] Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.””

It appears again in other places in the Bible like Psalms, it’s actually a word that is used to describe the help that God gives people,

[Psalm 54:4 NLT] [4] But God is my helper. The Lord keeps me alive!

It’s also used to describe the kind of help that happens in battle when one unit gives aid to another. In fact this verb shows up mostly in combat/battle situations. To quote one of my favourite theologians:

When God sees Adam all by himself, He concludes that he needs a helper, and creates Eve (Genesis 2:8). It does, however, show that Eve was not Adam’s secretary or maid, but rather an indispensable pillar. In any situation described in the Bible by this verb, without the helper, the person who needed the help would either die or fade away. So God “helps” the fatherless (Psalm 10:14), the ill (Psalm 28:7), those who suffer great spiritual discomfort (Psalm 54:4), and the poor (Psalm 72:12).” Read the article here

Although the two sexes are interdependent of each other:

1 Corinthians 11:11-12 [NLT]

“[11] But among the Lord’s people, women are not independent of men, and men are not independent of women. [12] For although the first woman came from man, every other man was born from a woman, and everything comes from God.”

Women are there because men need help, company, hugs and someone who will cancel “adult nap time” in order to sit and talk through problems.:

[1 Corinthians 11:9 NLT]

“[9] And man was not made for woman, but woman was made for man.”

Men with all their strength and good ideas need a partner in life, I must admit, I’ve seen a lot of single guys just in general in life, particularly in the church, who poor souls are whithering away, due to loneliness or just making stupid decisions because there is no woman in their life to tell them no! Lovely, lovely, people and they are soo desperately lonely and unhappy, would really benefit from a nice little wife just for someone to talk to lol. Also, people are built to be loved, so understandably there is a strong desire for physical, intimate union with someone. Don’t do it before marriage! Wait, everyone wants to be loved but wait. I sang about that here: (follow this link or listen in the embedded player below)

You can also listen to it on SoundCloud (follow this link or play it in the embedded player below)

Reminds me of what I was saying about being the last the other day (follow this link it’s well worth the read).

I want to make it clear, everyone is created to worship Jesus. Women are not created for the exclusive use of men. That’s not a biblical standpoint, it’s in fact, heretical and contradictory to what it clearly says in the Bible:

Revelation 4:11 [NLT]

“[11] “You are worthy, O Lord our God, to receive glory and honor and power. For you created all things, and they exist because you created what you pleased.””

Ephesians 2:10 [NLT]

“[10] For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”

1 Corinthians 8:6 [NLT]

“[6] But we know that there is only one God, the Father, who created everything, and we live for him. And there is only one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom God made everything and through whom we have been given life.”

Don’t misinterpret this blog post as saying women are there just for men, I’m not an advocate of submission theology, I’m an egalitarian. I’m not saying women are better than men because they were made second etc, please I don’t advocate that. It’s not biblical because Jesus said:

Matthew 23:8 [NLT]

“[8] “Don’t let anyone call you ‘Rabbi,’ for you have only one teacher, and all of you are equal as brothers and sisters.”

What I am doing is retrieving lost narratives about women and their usefulness, the prominence of God using the second and the underdog for great things and how it relates to our God ordained function. Women are made in the image of God too:

[Genesis 1:26-28 NLT]

“[26] Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us. They will reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock, all the wild animals on the earth, and the small animals that scurry along the ground.” [27] So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. [28] Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground.””

We actually reflect God’s creative and reproductive power, due to our reproductive capabilities.

James 1:16-18 [NLT]

“[16] So don’t be misled, my dear brothers and sisters. [17] Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. [18] He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession.”

Twice the word and spiritual instruction is described as mothers milk, only women and female animals (to my knowledge) can lactate, this shows how God nourishes us. God is speaking to us about Himself through women’s bodies:

1 Peter 2:2-3 [NLT]

“[2] Like newborn babies, you must crave pure spiritual milk so that you will grow into a full experience of salvation. Cry out for this nourishment, [3] now that you have had a taste of the Lord’s kindness.”

1 Corinthians 3:2 [NLT]

“[2] I had to feed you with milk, not with solid food, because you weren’t ready for anything stronger. And you still aren’t ready,”

Our emphasis on feelings and the ethereal/intangible nature of feelings reminds me of the work of the Holy Spirit who is like breath, I remember that somewhere in the Bible, in the Hebrew the translation is something like wind or breath, not tangible. I’ll revisit this and post it when I find it but I’m really hungry right now lol.

The unity that men and women experience, during sexual union also reflects the oneness of God spoken about in John 17.

Us helping men, helps to reflect God on earth. (obviously you help other women as well, Jesus said love your neighbour Matthew 22:39, so that’s obvious). As I said earlier, the word helper that is used for women the same Hebrew word is also used for the help that God gives humanity. Everything about a perfected and holy friendship/marriage/kinship between a man and a woman reflects God, His kingdom and purpose and the way that God, Jesus and The Holy Spirit work together like a family and a team. We are supposed to be like God:

James 1:16-18 [NLT]

“[16] So don’t be misled, my dear brothers and sisters. [17] Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. [18] He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession.”

It’s like Jesus says if you want to be first you have to be last and a servant of everyone. Quite often we are last, whether it’s in pay, people listening to our views, enjoying sex! or even just having a night off from cooking! We do tend to be servants, literally! Domestic workers are mainly women! Our lives are full of a lot of pain, periods etc, sex can hurt the first time. Something that bothers me, thinking about getting married (once I meet my future husband lol). The first time, oh my goodness, I worry a lot that it’s going to hurt, it bothers me. It really does lol (Read about what I said about women’s physical pain and why we persevere here).

Again, I’m not saying women are better than men, I’m just pointing out how much men need women and how undervalued we are and how dangerous it is to oppress us because that disables us from being able to perform our function which is to help. When a woman is educated and fulfilled she is in the best possible position to help. Sometimes that help comes in the form of being a stay at home mother and sometimes that help comes in the form of being a CEO of a company or the Prime Minister or the President. Knowing what God created us to do it’s up to the men to decide whether or not they take it but they reject and oppress us knowing fully well that it’s not in their interest, according to the scriptures above. Who leaves their armour at home or tells discourages natural nurturer it not to talk up in a board meeting? We are created to help humanity survive, we want to help companies make decisions that will make them better and more money so we can have money to feed our children…

Women might be smaller and yes we might have been created second but we are not second class or second best! God will use us because we are second and oppressed. Watch this space, what comes second is usually the thing that God does something powerful with and we are equipped with the sense and nature to do something incredible! We give birth to the men, we teach them as they grow and when they become adults, we love them 🙂 Everybody needs that, the physical and emotional nurturing that comes from things like breastfeeding is so key in growing a person into a stable fully functioning adult. A stable fully functioning adult is able to spread the Gospel and worship Jesus! We are soo useful and necessary!

Hope that educated you!

Catherine